Because going out sober simply isn’t an option.
Because going to bed sober isn’t either.
3. Writing essays.
Either they’re actually quite enjoying this one, or they’ve done literally no reading whatsoever omgggggggg.
4. Pulling all-nighters.
No, not the fun kind.
This is university, you can’t just do your work when it’s set.
75% of students eat them daily. The other 25% judge.
7. DJing at alternative club nights.
But in a really casual way. “Oh, didn’t you know that as well as the 89 societies I run, I DJ at a club night? You should totally drop by.”
8. Not paying for anything.
This one’s a nasty shock when they enter the real world.
9. Dissertation deadlines.
Specifically dissertation disaster one-upmanship. You may be behind on your reading list, but you’re guaranteed to know someone who hasn’t even started yet. And what about the guy who literally doesn’t even know what his is going to be on?
10. Tactical chunders.
Because no one wants to peak to early, obv.
Because it’s free.
And exactly how many hours they’ve spent in them.
13. The pub.
14. Sainsbury’s Basics.
Which, let’s be honest, is probably God’s greatest gift to humanity.
15. Cheesy chips.
And, of course, they have very strict loyalties to their preferred vendor.
16. How little revision they’ve done.
“OMG I’M SOOOOO SCREWEDDDDDD.”
Which is basically more important than water.
Because students really care about stuff.
19. Student loans finally coming through.
Which signifies a week of online shopping, drinking and eating out, and then being poor again.
20. Being poor.
And having to wait until your next student loan installment comes through and you can repeat the cycle all over again.
The food of gods.
22. Being hungover.