So that was Eurovision 2014.
Busty Slavic women did their laundry, Russian twins got their hair tangled up on a giant see-saw and a magnificent diva walked away with the prize.
As ever, it didn’t disappoint.
But what is Eurovision like behind the scenes? I went to Copenhagen to find out.
1. This year, the Eurovision Song Contest employed 500 volunteers.
Their jobs ranged from navigating guests around the arena, to serving up meatballs in the press canteen, and driving delegates back to their hotels at the end of the day.
I spoke to Amanda, a 26-year-old American-native from Sweden, who travelled to Copenhagen in order to volunteer.
“I love Eurovision,” she told me. “I haven’t slept in three days and I don’t think I’ve ever been on my feet for so long. But it’s totally been worth it. I got a free ticket to the competition’s dress rehearsal. That’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.”
2. And she was right. Copenhagen was the place to be this weekend.
A Eurovision fan mile ran through the centre of town, with a dedicated Eurovision Village across Gammeltorv and Nytorv Squares.
There were Danish DJs playing Eurovision classics from 10am every day in the week leading up to the competition.
6. In the centre of town there was a countdown to Eurovision.
On either side of it, volunteers offered fans walking tours around Copenhagen.
7. There were Eurovision song lyrics on the side of every road.
That’s “Cliche Love Song” by Basim, BTW.
8. And Metro stations offered the public free transport in exchange for a Eurovision karaoke performance.
9. I headed to Copenhagen’s centre to ask Eurovision superfans what the competition meant to them.
This Swedish couple go to Eurovision every year.
“This is our 11th trip,” they told me. “It’s our tradition, as a married couple. Let’s hope that next year we won’t have to go any further than Stockholm.”
These Finns were just happy that the UK is taking the competition seriously.
“You guys always enter a joke act,” they told me. “But Molly’s actually really good. We’re really impressed with her song.”
These British twins watch Eurovision together every year.
“It’s been our thing for as long as I can remember,” they told me.
“We started going to the live shows five years ago. It gives us a good excuse to explore a new country and catch up with each other once a year.”
10. That evening, I headed to “Fortunate Friday” at EuroClub, the competition’s official nightclub.
The club hosted live screening of the semi-finals and final, as well as live performances from Eurovision DJs throughout the week.
11. A lot of people there had opinions about who should win.
“WE LOVE BASIM,” these Danes shrieked at me. “BASIIIIIIM”.
“It’s all about Sweden,” these Israelis told me. “Sanna is world class.”
“Conchita, Conchita, Conchita,” chanted these Austrians - whose mothers had knitted them Conchita-style beards.
12. The day before the final, I caught the boat to Eurovision island for the dress rehearsal.
Leaving from Nordhaven harbour, it took about 20 minutes to get to the former shipyard.
13. Even in rehearsal, the B&W Hallerna Arena looked fantastic.
14. Although the actual event would hold 11,000 fans, 3,000 press and volunteers turned up to the dress rehearsal.
“I’m so excited to be here,” Amanda, the American volunteer told me. “I went to both of the semi final dress rehearsals as well and they were out of this world. This venue is the best.”
15. This year’s hosts were Nikolaj Koppel, Lise Rønne and Pilou Asbæk.
16. This is the autocue they read from.
18. Commentators from individual countries sit in booths at the top of the arena.
This is where Graham Norton was thanked for no particular reason.
19. After they perform, acts head to hear the outcome of the votes in a special area in the middle of the arena.
22. But amazing.
“The ‘LOVE’ banner that dropped down at the end of Basim’s performance was originally supposed to be a Danish flag,” Amanda told me. “But that was considered too political so they changed it at the last minute.”
23. And so were the contestants.
That’s the Tolmachevy Sisters from Russia, Conchita Wurst from Austria and Dilara Kazimova from Azerbaijan.
24. But, before long, it was time for the competition. The Press Centre was packed.
Journalists from all over Europe gathered in a designated press tent on Eurovision island to watch the show together.
25. Greece’s media were especially enthusiastic.
26. As soon as Conchita entered the stage, there was a standing ovation.
27. Of course, every time Russia got votes, everyone booed.
In fact, the boos in the press tent were so loud that we couldn’t hear the boos on TV.