The 25 Stages Of A Massive Night Out

Oh the shame.

1. You head to the pub after work, promising yourself you’ll leave after one drink.

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2. On second thought, that would be rude. And you wouldn’t want to be rude. Another one can’t hurt.

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3. Suddenly, you remember how funny you are. You should definitely share every joke you know.

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4. Oops. Your conversation’s accidentally turned into a drinking game.

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5. A very sincere, philosophical drinking game. You’re sharing feelings you didn’t know you had.

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6. But it doesn’t matter because your friends are the best. They get you. They get 100% of you.

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7. You know who doesn’t get you? Your ex. You should probably text him to let him know.

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8. And you should call your mum. She’ll love that.

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9. As last orders are called, and your conversation takes a surprisingly romantic turn.

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10. So you suggest finding somewhere to dance. If you’re dancing, you’ll stop talking. Really, you’re just being sensible.

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11. You’re not a good dancer, though. Vodka’s helped with this in the past.

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12. Oh no, it’s made you shouty. Not dancey. Shouty.

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13. You’re throwing drinks around.

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14. You’ve lost your shoes.

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15. And suddenly the club’s closing. This can only mean one thing: It’s time for a post lash.

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16. And that’s where your memory ends. You wake up with severe head pain.

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17. You’ve got to find your belongings and run away. It’s walk-of-shame time.

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18. After a morning vom, you start on the carbs.

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19. Unfortunately, they’re served with a side helping of flashbacks and regrets.

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20. So you send a round-robin apology text and try to find out what you did last night.

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21. But, really, you know the answer.

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22. And you know the solution.

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23. So you have a little hangover cry.

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24. And vow never to drink again.

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25. From now on, you will live a teetotal existence. Honest.

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Tabatha Leggett is commissioning editor at BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.
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