Robin Thicke is quite 'head of sales at the Christmas party' isn't he? #xfactor
This week’s theme was “Love and Heartache”, which basically includes every song ever written.
Before we get into this, there are two noteworthy points.
1. SeeSee from Miss Dynamix (the pregnant one) fell ill, so the band didn’t perform this week. They’ve been given a pass to next week.
2. Louis Walsh wore a silk tie.
Right, let’s get started.
On Sunday night’s show, we had a group performance of Avicii’s “Wake Me Up”.
Katy Perry dressed as a tiger and Robin Thicke hung out with semi-naked babes on stage.
10. Shelley Smith warbled Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHELLEY (your singing wasn’t very good). Despite surviving last week’s sing off, Shelley Smith didn’t really improve. I want her to be my aunt so much, but I don’t want to see her strutting her stuff to “Single Ladies”, soz.
She found herself in the bottom two on Sunday night.
THIS FACT IS FULLY MENTAL.
In the sing off, she sang “Stop” by Jamelia.
It was OK. But Gary, Nicole and Louis didn’t think so and she was sent home.
9. Abi Alton ruined Kylie Minogue’s “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head”.
There were heart umbrellas, dodgy vocals and a load of pacing dancers. Here’s hoping Abi’s doing what she does best behind a piano again next week.
8. Rough Copy ran around a lot.
They sang “I Want It That Way” by The Backstreet Boys. The judges seemed to like it, but it felt like a distinctly safe choice. One of them was wearing a purple, leather kilt, though, which I <3.
7. Kingsland Road sang Bruno Mars’ “Marry You”.
Kingsland Road would like everyone to know that they are single and available and you should vote for them. But, despite their excellent hair, you didn’t. And they found themselves with the lowest number of votes and in the sing off.
Aaaaand if the singing thing doesn’t work out, they could become professional tan ambassadors.
On Sunday they sang Pink’s “Try”.
They flicked their hair a lot and looked very pretty.
6. Hannah Barrett shouted “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hannah Barrett cries a lot and feels really insecure. BUT WHY? She has an amazing voice, she’s a national singing competition on the telly and she’s bezzie mates with Nicole Scherzinger. A little less screeching and a lot less crying would do Hannah wonders.
5. Luke Friend sat in a boat.
He dressed up as Oliver Twist and sang “Let Her Go” by Passenger in a boat. Why? “Because he’s sailing through to next week,” said a very smug looking Louis. But the vocals were good, and he’s quite cute so I like him.
4. Sam Callahan was really sexy.
He sang “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz and my heart melted a bit. He may not be the best vocalist in the competition, but my god he’s fit.
But then he engaged in some light Twitter bribery, which was annoying.
3. Sam Bailey taught everyone about love.
She dedicated Adele’s “Make You Feel My Love” to her husband and made me cry. We all know this lady can belt, but she held back and her stripped back performance was all the better for it.
2. Nicholas McDonald kissed a dancer on the cheek and it was the cutest thing ever.
He sang Robbie Williams’ “She’s The One.” Here’s a three-line poem I wrote for him:
Nicholas McDonald you are so cute,
I’m really glad that you’re not mute,
I hope you never get the boot.
1. Tamera Forster absolutely nailed “Beneath Your Beautiful” by Emeli Sandi and Labrinth.
OMG TAMERA IS SO PRETTY AND SO LEGGY AND SO TALENTED. We all know she’s going to win, right?