1. There is nothing more tiring than working a split shift.
2. But hey, at least we normally get fed in the middle.
3. There is no job worse than transferring leftover condiments from their ramekins back into the big tubs at the end of a shift.
4. Except maybe pulling apart doilies.
5. Or making mint sauce.
6. We're experts at polishing silver cutlery.
7. We're also pretty quick at folding serviettes.
8. Those of us who worked in pubs before the smoking ban spent our shifts praying that no one would sit in the smoking area.
9. And the smell of cigarette smoke is impossible to wash out of clothes.
10. We own more plain black T-shirts and trousers from New Look than we care to imagine.
11. The only thing worse than working an incredibly busy shift is working through a midweek lull.
12. There's a special place in hell reserved for customers who ask for extra bread.
13. And another for customers who tip in coppers.
14. If we're serving you food, chances are we're too young to work behind the bar. So we won't be allowed to pour you a pint.
15. Mothering Sunday, New Year's Eve, and Easter Sunday are simultaneously the best and worst days of the year.
16. And putting up Christmas decorations in December is genuinely exciting.
17. We love being asked to pop into the fridge to get something, because it gives us a chance to cool down.
18. We're pretty good at carrying plates up our arms, but sometimes we slip up.
19. We all have a drink from the soda gun on the go at all times.
20. And we know better than to chat with customers while their food sits on the counter.
21. We've all done some pretty experimental deep-frying at some point.
22. We've all spilt gravy down our top and had to keep serving before now.
