18 Reasons Snake II Is So Much Better Than Flappy Bird Can Ever Hope To Be

Bring back the Nokia 3310. posted on

Flappy Bird. What a fun game.

 

NOPE. WRONG. NOT FUN.

I used to delete the flappy bird app Atleast 7 times a day out if anger, and now when I lose I can't so I scream.

NO, REALLY. NOT FUN.

Not like Snake II, the greatest phone game to have ever graced this planet.

1. Snake II’s welcome screen was friendly. It didn’t patronisingly tell you to tap. As though tapping were that simple.

 

2. Snake II is such a lovely game. All you have to do is feed a hungry reptile. Not dodge KILLER PIPES.

3. And Snake is such a cutie. He’s just a bit peckish. And more importantly, he’s not a pouting bird.

 

4. Also, he can slither through walls. Which is magic.

5. With Snake II, you can mix things up. Your snake can crawl at different speeds. There are different levels. THERE ARE MAZES.

7. Miss Snake 1? Just pop into the first maze.

8. Fancy a cheeky obstacle course? Be my guest.

9. What’s that? You want even more of a challenge? Not. A. Problem.

10. Something even harder? Oh go on then.

11. It’s the game that just keeps giving.

12. Look at Flappy Bird, just flying from left to right. Snake can dart about in whichever direction he fancies.

13. If someone texts you during a game of Snake II, nothing happens. If someone texts you during a game of Flappy Bird, the world ends.

14. Snake II will surprise you in ways Flappy Bird can only dream of. Snake will just be crawling along when BAM a spider appears.

 

15. Although Snake II is fun, it’s not addictive. No one has ever cried because they made a snake bump into itself.

 

16. Besides, Snake II’s scoring system is so much more satisfying. The numbers are so much bigger.

 

17. And when a game of Snake 2 ends, it just flashes a bit and lets you start again. There’s no aggressive “GAME OVER” message.

18. And, although it’s difficult, winning Snake II is possible. With Flappy Bird, NO ONE IS A WINNER.

 

THOSE WERE THE DAYS, GUYS, THOSE WERE THE DAYS.

Its so hard picking a new phone back in the day all I had to worry about is if it had snake 2 on it

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