37 Reasons Everyone Should Love Charlie Brooker

He’s vowed to cut down on writing. Say it ain’t so. posted on

1. Charlie Brooker is a lucky git.

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2. He gets paid to watch TV.

3. And hang out with David Mitchell on a regular basis.

4. And he’s married to Konnie Huq, of Blue Peter fame.

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5. But it’s all OK because he’s just so funny.

 

6. His early ’90s cartoon strip for children’s magazine Oink! was funny.

7. And it was pretty funny when the the Polytechnic of Central London wouldn’t accept his dissertation on video games, and made him fail his degree.

8. It was even funnier when PC Zone got shelved by loads of newsagents because of his “Lara Croft Cruelty Zoo” feature.

9. And his parody TV listings on TVGoHome were hilarious.

10. But then, he landed a serious Guardian column.

11. Actually, it wasn’t that serious. He once described My Super Sweet 16 as an “Al-Qaeda recruiting tool”.

12. And Cilla Black as “the result of a unholy union between Ronald McDonald and a blow-dried guinea pig”.

 

13. And Nigella Lawson as “a minor royal who’s somehow been coerced into presenting a Christmas edition of Blue Peter.”

14. Pete Burns, he reckons, “looks like Janice from The Muppet Show.”

 

15. He thinks the Coronation Street theme tune is “the aural equivalent of having half-chewed, week-old Battenberg cake dribbled into your ear canal by a senile grandparent.”

16. Wayne Rooney? “He has the IQ of a steak and ale pie.”

17. But at least he’s not BB9’s Mario who resembles “Sly Stallone crudely whittled from a gigantic boiled ham by a madman in a hurry.”

18. Even snakes (“like bits of rope, only angrier”), don’t escape Brooker’s wrath.

19. Come to think of it, he doesn’t like many things.

20. But he does ask excellent questions.

 

21. And he’s written for The 11 O’Clock Show, Brass Eye and Spoons.

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22. But none of these shows were as good as Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe on BBC Four.

23. Except maybe Dead Set, his five-part zombie horror thriller set in the Big Brother house.

24. And when he’s not writing award-winning TV dramas or appearing on panels shows, he’s trolling F1 fans on Twitter.

25. He’s also adept at photo bombing.

26. But he’s not perfect. He doesn’t get everything right.

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27. And he’s really bad at fancy dress.

29. He’s good at being grumpy, though.

 

30. And once he looked through a magnifying glass in a really sexy way.

31. He’s a sharp-eyed critic.

32. This, for example, was his reaction to Twilight.

33. And he never minces his words.

Eamonn McCormack / Getty Images

34. He seems to have a really great relationship with his wife.

Eamonn McCormack / Getty Images

35. He’s insightful.

36. And he’s honest.

 

37. So when he said this…

Haven't quit the Guardian: just going to be writing pieces less frequently. Weekly became untenable. Too many columns in the world anyway.

… everyone else said this.

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