17 Incredibly Serious Slytherin Problems

Green and silver FTW.

1. When the Sorting Hat knows where you belong before it even touches your head and everyone judges you.

2. When everyone chats you up using this line.

3. When everyone you meet is a disappointment because no one is as good as you.

4. When you’re forced to eat among non-Slytherins and it puts you off your dinner.

5. When you’re the rightful winner but teachers have favourites.

6. When Hagrid says, “There’s not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn’t in Slytherin,” BUT WHAT ABOUT SNAPE?

7. When you fancy a lighthearted chat with someone but you end up talking about feelings.

8. When you’re too resourceful and cunning for your own good.

9. When your peers bore you because you’re just more ambitious than them.

10. When everyone thinks Griffindors are the most brave, but really you know the truth.

11. When you don’t want to turn to page 394 but you have to anyway.

12. When you sit down to dinner and the Bloody Baron turns up.

13. When Dumbledore decides that a “change of decoration is in order.”

14. When you have to speak to snakes just because you know Parseltongue.

15. When you wish your common room wasn’t so green, but there’s nothing you can do about it because it’s under the Black Lake.

16. When everyone thinks all Dark Wizards came from Slytherin and totally forget that Pettigrew was a Gryffindor and Quirrell was a Ravenclaw.

17. When your dad has to hear about everything you witness ever.

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