1. You know there is no meal more delicious than chip shop chips covered in chip shop gravy.
2. And that the only way to serve fish and chips is with mushy peas and scraps.
3. You know that this is what a proper pub lunch looks like.
4. And there's no such thing as too much ketchup.
5. But most importantly, you know that any pub that serves something that looks like this is bullshit.
6. As a northerner, you appreciate the importance of double carbs.
7. You've eaten a fair few chip butties in your time.
You're not averse to a scallop butty either.
8. And you make a damn good butter pie.
9. You know that the best way to cure a hangover is with an ice-cold can of Vimto.
10. And the best way to cure a cold is with a mug of the hot stuff.
Is there anything Vimto can't do?
11. You know that this is what a proper Yorkshire pudding looks like.
12. You know that this is called a barm.
13. That this is the greatest meal ever invented.
14. And that nothing cheers you up quite like a homemade shepherd's pie.
15. You know that the picture on the left is a real cup of tea, whereas the picture on the right is a mug of hot, green water.
16. And you know the picture on the left is a coffee, while the picture on the right is small cup of fancy milk.
17. As a northerner, you know exactly where to go for an iced bun.
18. You'll always have time for a slice of parkin.
19. And you know what real treacle toffee tastes like.
20. You understand that the picture on the left is of a pie, whereas the picture on the right shows a casserole with a pastry lid on it.
And, crucially, you understand that the two are not the same thing.
21. But most importantly, you know you should always get change from a fiver for a pint.
