What Your Celebrity Friend Crush Actually Says About You

If celebrities were their own horoscopes, here’s what they’d say about you.

1. Beyonce

CBS / Via media.giphy.com

What This Says About You: You are very popular, in fact so popular that when you do someting at midnight everyone hears about it instantly and stops what they’re doing to watch. It would be intimidating for other people, but you accept that you are the greatest gift this world has ever received.

Note: Almost everyone you meet says that they would vote you “Queen of the World” if they could. And they are serious.

2. Robert Downey Jr.

Warner Bros. / Via fullgifs.com

What This Says About You: In your younger days you partied harder than most people do in several lifetimes, and you have the scars to prove it. But now things are generally much calmer, and you’re incredibly successful.

Note: You only get better with age, you lucky dog.

3. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler

NBC / Via hollywood.com

What This Says About You: Without a doubt, you are the most hilarious person in your social group, and everyone else knows that you are always quick with a joke. Your best friends are equally entertaining, and on weekends you can be found at the local bar cracking up the locals with your improv.

Note: Volunteer to host everything you can; you will absolutely be the best at it.

4. Drake

NBC / Via media.giphy.com

What This Says About You: Humble to the core, you never forgot where you came from. Your best friends are ones from childhood, and they couldn’t be more proud of you and your success.

Note: Stay away from significant others that have crazy exes, as that never ends well.

5. Taylor Swift

CBS / Via wordpress.com

What This Says About You: Gossiping with your girlfriends is your main activity, but you’re also very talented creatively. You are incredibly friendly but seem to go through significant others at a rapid rate, though you know you’ll find “the one” eventually.

Note: You probably shouldn’t post vague references to your ex on social media.

6. Justin Bieber

What This Says About You: On any night of the week you can be found at strip clubs or the bar, because that’s the kind of person you are. You urinate in public and have a profound distaste for wearing pants that fit correctly.

Note: Don’t make your posse carry you up the Great Wall of China.

7. Jennifer Lawrence

What This Says About You: Everyone seems to like you no matter where you are or what you look like. You enjoy eating, making jokes, and generally being awesome.

Note: Most people you meet say you are “perfect”, but this weirds you out. You just want to know when your pizza will arrive.

8. Aubrey Plaza

NBC / Via media.giphy.com

What This Says About You: Sarcastic and dark, you don’t enjoy being in the center of attention. Instead, you quietly mock the poor sap who is. You have a tough exterior that you use as a front to hide your true emotions. Most people are actively afraid of you, and you will succeed in life by using this fact to your advantage.

Note: Your other celebrity best friend may in fact be Anna Kendrick.

9. Justin Timberlake

What This Says About You: You probably starred in some high-school theater productions (singing AND acting?) and also probably played a sport or two. Basically, you are multi-talented and dislike being still for long periods of time.

Note: Trying new hairstyles could work wonders for your professional and personal life.

10. Jennifer Aniston

CBS / Via tumblr.com

What This Says About You: The quintessential “girl next door”, you usually don’t end up with the guy of your dreams, but everyone really loves you, so that’s nice. On the plus side, you are incredibly popular, even though you don’t always find success as easily as your friends.

Note: You may have had some really excellent hairstyles, and you may be remembered specifically for them.

11. Aziz Ansari

NBC / Via replygif.net

What This Says About You: You may not be the biggest or the strongest, but you are probably the one with all the comebacks in your group of friends. Keep it up, and you could be a standup comic! Or punched in the face. One of those.

Note: Don’t oversell your adorableness. It can get old.

12. Mindy Kaling

NBC / Via blogger.com

What This Says About You: You have given up trying to understand “youths” today, and have resigned yourself to the fact that your Valentines Day may consist of work, ordering Seamless, and binge-watching House of Cards. You enjoy long naps, and references to pop-culture events.

Note: You’ll meet your true love in a rom-com scenario only Nora Ephron could have dreamed up.

13. Bill Murray

Focus Features / Via cdn.uproxx.com

What This Says About You: You may not have a specific group of friends, so you usually just wander into parties and start chatting people up. No one minds this though, since you’re basically the fun/wise uncle we all know and love.

Note: Never stop being you. Ever.

14. Kanye West

What This Says About You: You’re probably really talented at something. A lifetime of not getting respect forces you to constantly seek adoration and acclaim so much that it is literally your biggest characteristic. Just take a breath before you say things sometimes.

Note: You may actually be insane.

15. Lena Dunham

What This Says About You: You aren’t embarrassed about being a “millennial”. You’re broke, probably in a job that you don’t love, and have way too many roommates/issues/cats than you know what to do with. People need to understand that life isn’t like Gossip Girl.

Note: Growing up is hard to do, but NEVER eat delicious cupcakes in a shower. If you find yourself doing that, seek help immediately.

16. Paul Rudd

USA Films / Via ign.com

What This Says About You: Down to earth, good natured, funny, and nice are all words used to describe you. You never stand out in a crowded bar, and people wouldn’t immediately pick you for their co-ed dodgeball team, but you’re generally just a good person that everyone likes. Keep on being you.

Note: Don’t freak about about getting older, as we all do it eventually.

17. Miley Cyrus

What This Says About You: A wild child and party animal, you’ve been called it all. You like to party with your friends, and you let everyone know it. Are you rebelling against society’s outdated norms on femininity? Maybe. But all you really want to do is have fun.

Note: Enjoy being yourself. That’s a rare quality.

18. And Leonardo DiCaprio

Warner Bros. Pictures / Via giphy.com

What this says about you: You like to party, but not always at a casual bar with cheap beers. People always enjoy your company, though some probably still question why you had that tiny pony-tail.

Note: You may never win that major award or get that promotion you’ve always deserved, even if you’ve been working your whole life towards it, but people recognize your work ethic, and they love you for it.

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