33 Ways That Mark Ruffalo’s Character In "13 Going On 30" Ruined Men For You

Marry me, Matt Flamhaff. Marry me all night long.

1. Even as a child, he was perfect.

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2. He invented the selfie!

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3. AND THEN HE GREW UP AND TURNED INTO THIS.

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4. This perfect man with excellent taste in T-shirts.

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5. He has excellent judgment and taste in general, actually.

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6. Despite appearances, Matt Flamhaff would never really slam a door in your face.

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7. Matt Flamhaff would give you a fluffy pillow and a glass of water no matter how much of a bitch you were in high school.

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8. He talks this close.

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9. And adjusts his pants to make sure he’s looking his best when you guys have deep and emotional convos.

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10. He’d be your “Thriller” dance partner when you really need one.

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And still remember the entire dance 17 years after learning it.

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And not even care how many people are watching.

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11. Until that super-compelling moment when he remembers he’s in love with you and freaks out.

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12. Oh and he can slow dance too.

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And does this super sexy-instructive thing with your head.

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And will even dip you like the movies.

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13. He’d always look out for your well-being.

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Sony Pictures Entertainment / Via popsiclegang.tumblr.com
Sony Pictures Entertainment / Via popsiclegang.tumblr.com

14. He has this face.

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15. He’s been a good kisser for 17 years and will probably be one for 1,700 more.

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16. Matty thinks you’re cute even when you’re being ridiculous (because you’re a 13-year-old stuck in a 30-year-old’s body, but aren’t we all?!).

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17. His arms. Period.

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18. His idea of a good present is BUILDING YOU A DREAM DOLLHOUSE FILLED WITH ALL OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS AND RECORDS.

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How in the world is anyone real supposed to be able to compete with that?!

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19. You could cut the sexual chemistry with Matt Flamhaff with a knife. A knife of hotness? Not sure how this analogy works.

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20. He’s adorable even when he’s super awk.

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21. He can’t believe we’re talking about HIM because he’s so humble and down-to-earth.

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22. He’s better at expressing his (heartbreaking) feelings than any man you’ve ever met IRL.

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23. He’ll take a walk to talk about your feelings literally anytime you ask.

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24. Your dates would be way more fun than dinner and a movie.

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25. He’ll eat Razzles with you no matter how old you get or how many health articles you read.

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26. He’s always thinking of the one he loves and doing little things for her.

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27. Every time you say good-bye to him it’s heartbreaking.

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28. Because he’s the sweetest guy you’ve NEVER known.

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29. And with him, everything would be happy ever after.

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30. Mostly because you’d get to kiss Ruffalo’s face.

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And take as many couple selfies as your heart desires.

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31. No real dude is this perfect.

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32. You know he’s fictional because he’s excited to live in a pastel pink dream house with you forever.

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33. Real boys are all just Chris Grandys.

[SOB]

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Arrivederci, Matty.

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If only you were a real boy.

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