Bear Beorning, are you a fucking lunatic?

Seeing a dude in uniform with that haircut perform the bizarre and artificial “professional” news-delivery vocal cadence is a rich and heady ambrosia of creepy, funny, weird, ridiculous, and fucking lame. Your haircut is not normal. Your clothes are not normal. Good lighting and makeup: Non-existent, and again, not normal. None of that is necessarily good or bad, but why even pretend? It's like putting some brushed stainless steel plating and a Kenmore tag on a fucking Howitzer—surreal in both cool and stupid ways.