Steven Kluber, The Man,The Myth, The Employable.

Hiring managers are stressed. They have to filter through resumes of unqualified candidates, create job descriptions, and actually make decisions that will affect their companies for the better. They want value, they want to make a positive difference, but somehow they end up banging their head against a wall. That’s why they ended up on BuzzFeed. Here are 13 reasons that Steven Kluber is the answer to all of the questions a hiring manager has when looking for marketing, writing, advertising or social media. You are already on Buzzfeed, you may as well benefit your job by reading about the history of Steven Kluber.

1. He’s Educated

Let’s face it, Degrees are a dime a dozen. With the amount of “Get Educated Quick” schemes advertised on television, radio, and internet; Steven offers a good old fashioned education from a fully accredited AACSB school.

What’s AACSB? It sounds pretty cool. Well, that’s because it is. A selective accreditation that is only offered to the best schools, AACSB means that graduates will succeed in any venture set forth because of superior training and diversified education.

What’s that? Two minors? Hold the phone. Yes, he offers skills in both Business Law and Professional Sales. He even did so while holding two internships, a part time job, and a 3.0 GPA.

Internships? How about two of them? Supplementing his sales skills and content writing, Steven has worked with the future of sports and one of the most advanced personal injury attorneys in the eastern half of the US.

2. He’s Social

Good for him. He has a few basic first-tier personal accounts.

Just kidding; he runs three different pages, each with different audiences. Be it The 630, his flagship Facebook Page, that reaches 12,000 unique users; or University of Toledo Memes, one of the first university memes pages, reaching 3,000 college educated individuals and at one point receiving recognition from the Independent Collegian for its work in calling for change in the campus.

Finally, he runs an organized venture, Postgrad in Suburbia; spanning Facebook, Twitter, and Blogger. This currently reaches an increasing number of individuals in the 22-26 year old demographic, and helps local businesses reach this key group of individuals.

Other than that, he was one of the first 3% of twitter users (@sdkluber), part of Facebook since 2006, an open networker on LinkedIn (sdkluber), and open to any new social media venture.

3. He’s a Dog Owner

Studies have shown that people named Steven who own one or more dogs are more likely to succeed in marketing roles than others.*

Named Rockefeller, he has been seen wearing bow ties to tailgates, fetching beers from a fridge, and being an all around stand up dog.

*-Clarification Needed

4. He’s Upward Motivated


Since the market for downward motivated individuals is not really the best career choice, or even a feasible option; Steven has made the decision to enter a career path that will give him the chance to move up within an organization.

This being said, he has done well at moving up an organization structure through former successes. Going from Fraternity Pledge to Executive Board member within one year; Steven has proven leadership abilities and unlimited growth potential.

5. He Knows what a Mud Hen is

 

Do You? Through his internship experience with the Toledo Mud Hens/Toledo Walleye; he has developed knowledge of Toledo sports history, phone skills, team based skills, and a plethora of knowledge regarding sales support.

6. He has a History of Making Personal Injury Cases Engaging


If you’ve studied personal injury, workers compensation, or product injury cases; you understand how hard it is to create an engaging message that will draw an audience.

Steven, on the other hand, has found a way to create a message that is readable, engaging, and able to create followers.

7. He Can Write

Hooray! He’s part of 99.99% of the US population! But wait, there’s more!

He has been conditioned by some of the greatest minds throughout his education at Marmion Academy and the University of Toledo, developing and refining his ability to write knowledgeably. Furthermore, his internship experience at the Charles E. Boyk Law Offices has taught him how to write effective copy to engage users and increase traffic. And unless you’re stuck in it, traffic is a great thing.

8. He’s an Expert on Bread

Challah Back!

After over five years at Panera Bread; Steven has developed skills working in a fast paced environment, working as a member of a multifaceted team, developing extensive product knowledge, and taking advantage of consumer cues in order to increase sales.

Other than that, he has a few good bread puns up his sleeve.

9. He’s Technologically Advanced


Look at that fancy Word Document! PowerPoint? Been using it since the 3rd grade. Excel? He minimized his Fantasy Football draft risk using a PivotTable. Outlook? More organized than your CRM system.

Ok, so he has Office skills. Wow, aren’t you impressed? You probably shouldn’t be.

So he learned some Adobe Photoshop.

How about Act! CRM, Microsoft CRM, TicketReturn Ticketing Software, or Microsoft Publisher.

Collaboration using Google? Cool Story, Bro.

If you’re really nice, he might even show off his ability to develop skills in Constant Contact, Prezi, Salesforce, InDesign, Illustrator or Dreamweaver.

10. He’s Relocatable

Local only? Steven will be local in 3 weeks or less.

It’s like the Oregon Trail, minus the Dysentery and wagon caulking.

You don’t even have to pay extra, unless that’s your thing.

Want to see if a Buick Rendezvous is big enough to transport a man, his dog, and every belonging needed to survive? Well, Steven will prove it is possible.

How about an apartment furnished by Goodwill? Steven Kluber has thrifting skills that put Macklemore to shame.

11. He’s Nocturnal, or Not.


Do you have a deadline that you need to meet? Four hours from now? Did your intern just accidentally destroy your company’s credibility at 2 am?

Well, Steven will be up and ready to come to the rescue.

Oh, you just need your standard 8:30 to 5 employee? Steven will be there, and probably be there from 7 to 7.

12. He’s an Ad Junkie

You probably would not enjoy a game of Adverteasing against Steven. Skilled and knowledgeable of ads: local, domestic, and international; Steven has studied some of the best (and worst) campaigns, and knows how advertising works.

Better yet, his education has created use in full Integrated Marketing. This means he knows how to tie in PR, Social Media, and SEO to best reach an audience.

Favorite Current Campaign: Heineken #Dropped
Favorite Non-US Campaign: Never Say No to Panda

13. He’s Dedicated


Born and raised a Cubs fan, Steven has been taught dedication through hard times from a very young age. Now, dedicated may sound like a pretty boring soft skill, but when he has used this to bring over five years to the same company; what does this mean to you?

Decreased chance at turnover, increased chance at success, and a minimized risk regarding having to hire someone else for the same position.

His Resume comes in QR Code Form

Resume Property of Steven Kluber, Technology Property of TagMyDoc

He’s the Answer to Your Hiring Needs

With all the skills, experience, and education needed to succeed; why haven’t you contacted him?

Oh yeah, because you haven’t gotten any contact information.

Send him a LinkedIn invitation, maybe a message or two.

If Email fits your fancy, he has one of those too. Try this one.

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

This post was created by a user and has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!

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