1. No, tattoos aren’t a requirement of employment.
And no, you’re not funny.
2. Neither is wearing black.
4. No seriously, they’re the beeeeessssssst!
5. A significant portion of the reviews are designed to make you laugh.
6. If you look closely around the store, you might find an Easter egg like this:
7. Or this…
8. Or these:
If you keep your eyes peeled, you might find little surprises like these in the corners of the shelves, or hidden in plain sight on a pole or wall.
10. …And then the next day, everyone is all like:
Sorry if you happen to be in store the next day. It’s been a rough night.
11. If you’re yelling at a counter staff member, you’re probably yelling at the wrong person, and on the inside, they’re probably like:
12. A good store is a store you feel comfortable singing and dancing in the aisles with your co-workers.
Fun fact: You can get an (unofficial) warning for screaming Nickelback in the aisles with your co-workers if a customer complains. It’s happened, trust me.
13. If you’re register savvy, you can write your co-workers letters using stock titles.
This is a register rendition of “Friday” by Rebecca Black.
14. Sometimes they get really, really truly awful requests:
“To JB Hi-Fi
Could you please Look on the internet for names of Bands of Skinhead neo nazi music bands CD’s and please write back clearly.
NOPE. You can be a neo-Nazi on your own time, mate. (But actually don’t because that’s the worst.)
15. But a crafternoon can make everything better.
16. When you talk down to the staff by phrasing your questions like, “You’ve probably never heard of it, it’s a really old film… It’s called Psycho?” the staff might not love it.
17. On the other hand, if you ask for something that is intentionally misspelt, it doesn’t hurt to clarify the spelling.
If you say the word “cursor” to me, I’m going to spell it “cursor”. I’m not necessarily going to know that it’s spelt “kerser”.
18. Sometimes the staff aren’t not too fond of the promotions they have on, and they’re not afraid to get sassy with signage.
19. Personal space is something to be cherished.
Please don’t touch the staff. Also, please don’t run your trolley into a crouching staff member and use it as a segue for your enquiry, as in “Oh, well now that I’ve got your attention.” It’s happened.
20. They don’t love it when you piss in the store.
It happens more often than you think. Less common? People shitting in the store, but that’s happened, also. Please don’t.
21. When you want to return a DVD because it has subtitles, this is what the staff are doing on the inside.
Speaking another language? Not a fault.
22. Sentences like this: “I’m looking for that song, you know the one? It’s all over the radio. It’s like…by a girl? Come on, you know the one! It’s so popular! She’s saying something, like… I don’t know. It’s like, dance-y? You know?” aren’t helpful.
That is literally half the songs on the radio, what are you talking about?
23. The staff don’t actually burn the CDs and DVDs themselves.
If they’re out of stock, they’re out of stock. They definitely don’t have the ability to go out the back and burn you a new DVD.
24. Trolling other staff members is the best way to jazz up a slow day.
25. Serving a customer with similar interests to you is the best.
Staff members love chatting about the shows, movies, and games that they love, and a good customer can make your entire day.
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