26 Things All JB Hi-Fi Employees Secretly Want You To Know

Spilling truth tea ‘bout JB.

1. No, tattoos aren’t a requirement of employment.

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And no, you’re not funny.

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2. Neither is wearing black.

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3. Puns are the best.

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4. No seriously, they’re the beeeeessssssst!

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5. A significant portion of the reviews are designed to make you laugh.

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6. If you look closely around the store, you might find an Easter egg like this:

Stephanie Anderson
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7. Or this…

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8. Or these:

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If you keep your eyes peeled, you might find little surprises like these in the corners of the shelves, or hidden in plain sight on a pole or wall.

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9. Staff Christmas parties have a habit of turning out like this:

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10. …And then the next day, everyone is all like:

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Sorry if you happen to be in store the next day. It’s been a rough night.

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11. If you’re yelling at a counter staff member, you’re probably yelling at the wrong person, and on the inside, they’re probably like:

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12. A good store is a store you feel comfortable singing and dancing in the aisles with your co-workers.

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Fun fact: You can get an (unofficial) warning for screaming Nickelback in the aisles with your co-workers if a customer complains. It’s happened, trust me.

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13. If you’re register savvy, you can write your co-workers letters using stock titles.

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This is a register rendition of “Friday” by Rebecca Black.

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14. Sometimes they get really, really truly awful requests:

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“To JB Hi-Fi

Could you please Look on the internet for names of Bands of Skinhead neo nazi music bands CD’s and please write back clearly.

Thank you”

NOPE. You can be a neo-Nazi on your own time, mate. (But actually don’t because that’s the worst.)

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15. But a crafternoon can make everything better.

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16. When you talk down to the staff by phrasing your questions like, “You’ve probably never heard of it, it’s a really old film… It’s called Psycho?” the staff might not love it.

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17. On the other hand, if you ask for something that is intentionally misspelt, it doesn’t hurt to clarify the spelling.

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If you say the word “cursor” to me, I’m going to spell it “cursor”. I’m not necessarily going to know that it’s spelt “kerser”.

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18. Sometimes the staff aren’t not too fond of the promotions they have on, and they’re not afraid to get sassy with signage.

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19. Personal space is something to be cherished.

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Please don’t touch the staff. Also, please don’t run your trolley into a crouching staff member and use it as a segue for your enquiry, as in “Oh, well now that I’ve got your attention.” It’s happened.

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20. They don’t love it when you piss in the store.

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It happens more often than you think. Less common? People shitting in the store, but that’s happened, also. Please don’t.

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21. When you want to return a DVD because it has subtitles, this is what the staff are doing on the inside.

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Speaking another language? Not a fault.

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22. Sentences like this: “I’m looking for that song, you know the one? It’s all over the radio. It’s like…by a girl? Come on, you know the one! It’s so popular! She’s saying something, like… I don’t know. It’s like, dance-y? You know?” aren’t helpful.

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That is literally half the songs on the radio, what are you talking about?

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23. The staff don’t actually burn the CDs and DVDs themselves.

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If they’re out of stock, they’re out of stock. They definitely don’t have the ability to go out the back and burn you a new DVD.

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24. Trolling other staff members is the best way to jazz up a slow day.

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25. Serving a customer with similar interests to you is the best.

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Staff members love chatting about the shows, movies, and games that they love, and a good customer can make your entire day.

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26. If you hear staff members joking around or having a cheeky banter, feel free to join in.

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A customer who laughs with staff members will quickly become a staff favourite.

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