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    The 23 Stages Of Having A Simple Cold

    Pretty sure I'm dying tho.

    1. Pre-cold.

    You don't know it yet, but this boring, everyday life is as good as it's going to get for the next few days.

    2. Feeling lowkey shitty.

    3. Denying that anything is wrong.

    4. Feeling shittier.

    5. Thinking "maybe if I just rest it will go away".

    6. Resting.

    7. Feeling worse.

    8. Accepting that this is happening and you have no choice but to ride it out.

    9. Feeling straight up disgusting.

    10. Trying to pinpoint where this illness came from.

    11. Lowkey plotting the murder of whoever made you ill.

    12. Not having the energy to follow through on your elaborate revenge scheme.

    13. Being sad about your entire life.

    14. Googling your symptoms, "just in case".

    15. Becoming convinced that you're probably dying.

    16. Facing mortality.

    17. Taking to your deathbed.

    This is it. This is the end.

    18. Becoming enraged when people tell you that it's "just a cold".

    19. Sleeping.

    20. Fluids. Drinking them and expelling them from everywhere.

    21. Turning a tiny corner.

    "I'm so confused. What's happening?"

    22. Beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

    23. And finally, realising you're actually going to be OK.