1. 1. It’s extremely hard to look in the mirror without blushing…
Who, me? Aw, shucks ;)
3. 3. Hummingbirds frequently attempt to suckle from your nostrils.
They’re like dark, hair-free passageways to paradise.
4. 4. You can cut glass with the shine from your pearly whites.
5. 5. Each of your body parts has won People Magazine’s most beautiful person of the year.
Yup, even that one.
6. 6. Your chiseled jawline has inspired atheists to pray.
8. 8. The ultrasound pictures of you made all the nurses jealous….
Your physique was just incredible.
9. 9. …..and secured you a lifetime contract with a top modeling agency.
10. 10. For Christmas, the only thing your friends want is a picture of you for their mantle.
11. 11. Your fingernails are classified as precious gems.
They’re perfect, like a cherub’s supple thighs.
12. 12. In 2010 your face became the eighth wonder of the world…..
14. 14. The sheer perfection of your rump is the only thing that’s brought Chuck Norris to tears……
15. 15. And Jean Claude Van Damme to his knees.
16. 16. You’re no longer welcome at national landmarks because you always become the main attraction.
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