The 4 B’s Of The Super Bowl

The gay essentials: Bey, Bros, Butts and Branding.

If you’re not into the game itself, here are 4 things to watch for on Sunday:

ID: 847230

1) Beyoncé

ID: 846197

We all know that Queen B is headlining the halftime show.

ID: 843981

And let’s be honest, she’s the fiercest thing to ever touch a pigskin.

ID: 843951

Besides, we all saw what Madge did last year…

ID: 808306

…And certainly, it gets better.

ID: 844649

She alone should be enough to get you through the first half.

ID: 846572

2) Bros

ID: 846384

On the Ravens side, there is Brendon Ayanbadejo, a gay rights advocate.

ID: 846276

Who happens to look amazing shirtless.


ID: 843562

Safety Ed Reed brings the swagger.

ID: 846299

Here he is again with teammate Ray Lewis.

ID: 846311

And how could anyone overlook Dennis Pitta?

ID: 843761

More of a 49ers fan? There’s Alex Smith, who has that All-American look.

ID: 843851

And is the epitome of “bro.”

ID: 846391

And even though he’s benched, we can always fantasize about him and Colin Kaepernick.

ID: 843859

Then there’s this god among men, Vernon Davis.

(Pictured on the right with his brother Vontae.)

ID: 844686

Seriously, just look at him.


ID: 846544

If you like your men older, there are the coaches. Jim Harbaugh is easy on the eyes.

ID: 843906

Bonus: He’s the dreamboat from “Saved By The Bell.”

ID: 843925

On other side of the field is his brother, John. (He’s the feisty one.)

ID: 843921

3) Butts

ID: 844591

It’s no secret that NFL players have an interest in jockstraps.

ID: 843414

And great asses to fill them.

ID: 843461

But they can be used against them.

ID: 846644

Some players just skip the underwear altogether.

ID: 843339

And that would be a welcome surprise on game day.

ID: 846652

4) Branding

ID: 846763

The hot guys aren’t limited to the field. And companies aren’t afraid to exploit them.

ID: 846776

Just ignore any offensive stereotypes…

ID: 846852

…And enjoy the eye candy.

ID: 846787

And it wouldn’t be a shock if one of our queens appeared.

ID: 847041

I mean, who doesn’t like watching Betty White rough it up?

ID: 847070

And for those who need a little more, there’s always…

ID: 847093

5) Beards

(Paul Kruger of the Ravens.)

ID: 843651

6) Brews

ID: 847133

7) and a little Broadway

ID: 847187

Finally, if you actually want to learn more about the game…

Check out BuzzFeed Sports for ongoing Super Bowl coverage.

ID: 847269

Check out more articles on!

  Your Reaction?


    Hot Buzz

    31 Reasons Potatoes Are The Best Thing At Thanksgiving


    17 Mind-Blowingly Delicious Noodles To Try In NYC


    Now Buzzing