1. A-Rod Means Andy Roddick, not Alex Rodriguez
Listen to me…I’m the real A-Rod dammit!
2. Getting scared when your opponent has bad ass equipment because the brighter the equipment, the better they are. Also if your opponent’s name is Andy Murray, Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic, or (God forbid), Roger Federer
“Let’s play a game!”
3. Sometimes, smashing a racket is the only way
5. The need to bring your whole room with you to a match because matches can last for 12 hours in whatever kind of weather
6. Trying to reason with people who call it a nonviolent or noncontact sport
Need I say more?
7. Trying to curb your anger at a costly call the line judge makes. Or controlling the passion to decimate a daft ball boy or girl
8. Reserving a hotel solely based on the existence of tennis courts at the hotel
9. U.S. Open does not involve Tiger Woods or a golf ball
THE U.S Open
“And then Tiger said…golf U.S. Open is kinda a big deal.”
10. How much better you play when you twirl your racket and pick ball fuzz out of the strings and avoid stepping on the line
Or you could just outright spin it like this guy
11. Warm up is not an option. It actually must be done
You won’t be laughing when she’s killing you in straight sets.
12. It does involve a lot of running and you actually do have to work
13. Being a ball boy definitely has its perks
14. 1. Leftys are the incarnation of the devil himself…they just make your life miserable out there. Same with tall people
“Y U No use your right hand!?”
15. Rightys are the whiniest people in the world… and you love to make them miserable. Also, you are Rafael Nadal and you laugh when people say this world does not favor left handed people
“Haha, you righties very funny mang”
16. When you walk up at a tournament, you absolutely must look around trying to figure out who your opponent is and then judge them by what they are wearing, what bag they have, what racket they use, and how they are carrying themselves
17. Taking imaginary swings at imaginary balls is as much a necessity as breathing
18. Reasoning with non players who don’t understand how cheating is possible
19. Going on an untagging mission of your action shots posted online
20. Picking your way around crowded courts as if dodging bullets
You sure don’t wanna be him
21. Tan lines, tan lines everywhere
Look at dat body.
22. Wanting to win the qualifier for a big tourney, but not wanting to go to the big tourney because you’re gonna get grand slammed
23. You cannot rest unless you challenge a call…even though you KNOW you’re wrong
24. Love is not a good thing
25. And for y’all pros out there: you need to report your whereabouts 365 days in the year if you wanna keep your job. Make no mistake, they WILL find you
Yes, even on vacation!
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