Who To Blame For Every Single England Footballing Failure Since 1966

Uncertain who you should direct your anger at for 48 years of footballing failure? Here's a breakdown of who was at fault for every major competition exit since 1966.

1968 European Championship - Alan Mullery

Having made the semi-finals (ok, only four teams actually took part), a strong England side were being held by Yugoslavia until Mullery took umbrage at an overly robust challenge and kicked Dobrivoje Trivic in the nuts. At least our sending offs used to be a bit more spectacular. Was manager Alf Ramsey annoyed? Not according to Mullery: ‘He came in, looked at me with a stern face and said: 'I'm glad somebody retaliated against those b******s.'

1970 World Cup - Bogota Police

Bogota Police – Take your pick for this one, but overzealous Columbian police attempting to collar England captain Bobby Moore for allegedly stealing a bracelet before the Finals didn’t help preparations. A fancied England team were eventually eliminated at the Quarter Finals stage by West Germany after Peter Bonetti replaced Gordon Banks, who was laid low by food poisoning despite the suspicious England team bringing all their own food with them to Mexico. 2-0 up after an hour, manager Ramsey substituted Bobby Charlton to save his legs, but England eventually subsided 3-2 in extra time. Rossers? Poor hygiene? Colin Bell? All took a hand in eliminating England this year.

1972 European Championship - the Vaguaries of Time

The West Germans again, knocking England out over a two leg Quarter Final with a comprehensive 3-1 at Wembley pretty much sealing England’s fate. The celebrated team of 1966 were getting a bit long in the tooth, as the West Germans were tactically and physically superior (sound familiar?). Bobby Moore’s lack of pace in conceding a penalty for the first goal was the first sign of the teams downward trajectory pretty much from here on.

1974 World Cup - Brian Clough

England failed to qualify for the 1974 World Cup thanks to a draw and a defeat to Poland in the qualifying group of three. Described by Clough as a ‘clown’ before the deciding game, Polish goalkeeper Jan Tomaszewski was inspired to produce a string of saves to deny England the victory they required.

1976 European Championship - The Referee/Don Revie

A loss to Czechoslovakia prevented England’s qualification for another major tournament as they failed to progress from the group. Former Leeds manager Don Revie had the cheek to complain about Czech roughhousing and a weak performance from referee Alberto Michelotti as England lost to the eventual tournament winners.

1978 World Cup - Ron Greenwood

A miserable run in the 70’s continued as England again failed to qualify for a major tournament, this time missing out on goal difference to Italy, only managing a 2-0 win away at Luxembourg probably being the main difference between the sides.

1980 European Championship - Yourselves (the fans)

Take a long, hard look at yourselves England fans, because this ones on you. Hooligans disrupted England’s group game against Belgium, which they could eventually only draw 1-1. England eventually lost out to Italy again, who despite only scoring one goal in the whole tournament (against England, obviously) managed to beat us to 2nd place in Group B.

1982 World Cup - Ron Greenwood (again)

Look at this team sheet for the crucial game against Spain (finished 0-0): Shilton, Butcher, Francis, Mariner, Mills, Rix, Robson, Sansom, Thompson, Wilkins, Woodcock. Needing goals, substitutes included Hoddle and Keegan.

1984 European Championship - The Fear

The Fear is a concept well known amongst all England fan, whatever the sport. England hand a seemingly easy qualifying group and only needed to draw at home to Denmark to guarantee a place in France. But the familiar creeping sensation that ‘we can still muck this up’ took hold and Denmark snuck a 0-1 win at Wembley.

1986 World Cup - Maradona/God (hand of)

You don’t really need me to spell this one out, do you?

1988 European Championships - Celine Dion

Who to blame for such a completed shambles as the 1988 Euros? England lost all three games, including a defeat to the Republic of Ireland. Celine Dion had won the Eurovision song contest that year and she seems as good a person to blame as anyone. Nicklas Bendtner was also born this year, so shares some culpability.

1990 World Cup - Chris Waddle

Let's play word association…Waddle, penalty, Germany. What do you get? Phrases like 'ballooned', 'choked' 'out of the ground' spring to mind

1992 European Championship - Graham Taylor

Taking of England captain and all time top scorer Linekar in the deciding 2-1 defeat to Sweden was perhaps not the turning point, but failing to identify the danger of future Leeds failure Tomas Brolin certainly was.

1994 World Cup - Graham Taylor (again)

Failure to qualify for the USA bore-fest led to some interesting vegetable/manager mash ups in the red tops. Do I not like that.

1996 European Championship - Gareth Southgate

Poor Gareth. England’s best showing in a tournament since ’66 led to a semi-final defeat on penalties to the Germans. Again. Southgate had the gumption to put himself up for a spot kick when others hid (Mcmanaman, Anderton, Ince, I’m looking at you), but tamely passed to the German keeper. Special mention goes to Gascoigne’s toe, millimetres from giving England the win in extra time.

1998 World Cup - David Beckham

A tame kick out at Diego Simeone left England a man down and unable to finish of an Argentinean team they had been outplaying up until then.

2000 European Championship - Phil Neville

A draw with Romania would have taken England through to the knockout stages but at 2-2 and with minutes to go Neville conceded a rash penalty against Petrescu.

2002 World Cup - David Seaman's ponytail

The overly hirsute Seaman suffered the indignity of being beaten by a freak Ronaldinho freekick (it was definitely a cross) as England were knocked out in the quarter finals by Brazil.

2004 European championship - Beckham/Darius Vassell

Quarterfinals again and Portugal this time as England lost on penalties with Beckham blazing over and Darius Vassell (Darius Vassell!) fluffing the decisive spot kick. I'll run that by you again. Darius Vassell. Crucial Penalty.

2006 World Cup - Wayne Rooney/Cristiano Ronaldo

Quarterfinals again and Portugal again and penalties again as Lampard, Gerrard and Carragher missed spot kicks. Rooney’s dismal for a stamp on Carvalho’s special place right in front of the referee robbed England of any chance of winning in normal time. Mullery would have been proud. Smugness-on-legs Ronaldo’s sneaky wink to the bench took some of the heat off Rooney

2008 European Championship - Scott Carson/Steve McClaren

Needing only a draw to qualify for the tournament at home against Croatia, The Fear took hold again as Carson allowed an early Kranjcar shot to sneak through, setting Croatia up for a 2-3 win. Manager McClaren was widely castigated for trying to keep his hair dry.

2010 World Cup - Lack of Goal-line technology (and by extension, Sepp Blatter)

Lampard’s shot to make it 2-2 would have been ruled a goal had the technology been in place, but in reality this would only have postponed the inevitable defeat to a vastly superior German side.

2012 European Championship - Ashleys everywhere

Penalties again, this time against Italy as Ashleys Cole and Young were the failures this time around.

2014 World Cup - Rooney/Gerrard

In a team full of relative non-entities, it’s not surprising that blame has fallen on the shoulders of England’s two most experienced players on the pitch. Is it fair? Probably not, but no one really knows who Jordan Henderson or Phil Jagielka are.