That “Cotton-Eye Joe” Song Is Actually About STDs, And Your Childhood Is Ruined

No, no, no, no, no.

1. Remember “Cotton-Eye Joe,” your favorite middle school dance song?

2. Well, the song is actually about STDs, according to Urban Dictionary.

3. And the lyrics back up this claim pretty well.

4. “If it hadn’t been for cotton-eye Joe, I’d been married a long time ago.”

5. “Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton-eye Joe?”

6. And then, well, things get a little too real.

He brought disaster wherever he went,
The hearts of the girls was to hell broken sent.
They all ran away so nobody would know,
and left only men cause of Cotton-Eye Joe.

7. Just think about all of those school dances and Kidz Bop albums that featured this song.


h/t tumblr.

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