1. If We Make it Through December
A festive Christmas song about getting laid off and struggling to survive through the winter.
2. Holiday in Cambodia (cover)- Richard Cheese
Not originally a Christmas song when played by The Dead Kennedy’s but in the hands of lounge singer Richard Cheese it’s the merriest account of abject poverty, brutal communist dictatorship and the deep scars left by the crimes of Pol Pot that you’ll ever hear (and it proves my theory that sleigh bells can make ANY song Chrismussy)
3. Hard Candy Christmas - Dolly Parton
Nothing says Christmas like listening to a mountain of regret from a bevy of working girls who realize they’re all alone on Christmas.
4. Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS - Tiny Tim
This one is pretty self-explanatory.
5. Do They Know it’s Christmas - Band Aid
Did you ever wish you could take more time to think about starving children while you’re enjoying Christmas with your family? Don’t worry, Bono, Elton John and a seemingly endless list of rich spoiled British pop singers are here to make sure you don’t forget it.
6. Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Judy Garland
This song isn’t so bad, until you know the original lyrics are Have yourself a merry little Christmas, it may be your last and she’s singing it to a little girl.
7. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (Rap Remix)
This one’s been horrifying all of us since we were little kids, but Dr. Elmo knows how to step up the horror to epic proportions to span the generations, that’s right: old white people rapping