1. Josef Stalin
Admit it, he could totally pick you up after a few drinks (or zero drinks and just one foppish grin), but if you’re going to hook up with him you better bring protection (and considering he killed 18 million of his own civilians) a kevlar vest and an AK47 should be fine.
2. Saddam Hussein
This is why you never hook up with a guy until you’ve checked for him on dontdatehimgirl because… I mean… YUM (in the skin-crawl-iest kind of way)
3. Ho Chi Minh
Look at those pouty lips, those piercing eyes. This guy was actually beloved by most of his citizens, but make no mistake he was powerful. How powerful? Well he was the first man who ever beat the United States in a war. Britain couldn’t do it at the height of it’s military power, Hitler couldn’t do it, even America itself couldn’t defeat America but this guy? piece of cake
4. Nicos Sampson
He was the dictator of Greece back in the 70’s. Once again, not exactly the most hated of dictators but OH SO NOMS (plus he gets extra credit for the daddy/son gay bondage thing he’s doing in this photograph)
5. Sheik Hamdan bin Mohammed Al Maktoum
To be honest he’s not the dictator of Dubai just yet, but he will be before long. Just look into those dreamy eyes and tell me you wouldn’t want to be forced to live under his savage authority? That’s it I’m moving to Dubai (on second thought, um, no)
6. Idi Amin
Sure he’s got a chubby little babyface but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s freaking enormous. Tell me you wouldn’t get weak in the knees standing next to this towering wall of man? (Bonus: the uniform is totally doing it for me)
7. Ahmedinejad (a.k.a. “the ‘Nejad” )
He’s got such a clooney-esque bearish quality to him doesn’t he? Makes you just want to climb into his inappropriately ornate patio furniture for a sexy furry bear nuzzle. He can enrich MY Uranium any day…
8. Basher Al-Assad
He’s the president of Syria and on a heckuva lot of “worst living dictator” lists, but can’t we forget about his affinity for torture and murder for just a teensy second? He’s the epitome of tall, dark and handsome, his dark side is just a little “darker” than most. I am SO jealous of that Eskimo he’s holding hands with.
9. Fidel Castro
He looks like a scruffy latin James Franco doesn’t he? He has sort of that wildman quality that makes you want to scream “viva la revolucion!” Ahhhhh Fidel, if only I could put an embargo on my heart *sigh*
10. Hitler (from the neck down)
A lot of people don’t know this but Hitler was a total butterface. Here he is shirtless and leaning back on a motorcycle (like he always used to do).