13 Craigslist Missed Connections That Should Never Connect

If these people ever do connect, we will be concerned for everyone’s safety.

1. Missed Connection: Hannibal

Is it bad that my first instinct is to run?

2. Missed Connection: Unhealthy Eating Habits

I’ll pass on being covered in bread crumbs and eaten by someone in a drive-thru.

3. Missed Connection: Stalker

Hello! (We seen enough scary movies to know how this ends.)

4. Missed Connection: Nurse Ratchet

Google: Amanda Bynes….Connection Found!

5. Missed Connection: New Bible Study Partner

Commandment 1: Break all the commandments for this relationship to work.

6. Missed Connection: Ms. New Booty

Hope you’re ready for kids. Anyone with an amazing ass at any of those stores is bound to have a lot of out-of-wedlock children.

7. Missed Connection: Wind Beneath Your Wings

This is hilarious and that woman should be put on the Olympic Board.

8. Missed Connection: Grand Theft Thoughtful

This person must have also been robbed of all his common sense.

9. Missed Connection: TSA (Total Sexual Assault)

This could literally be everyone at the airport.

10. Missed Connection: Sports Fans

Jimi Hendrix boardshorts? Why do those exist? Jimi Hendrix would be so disappointed.

11. Missed Connection: Domestic Violence

Chris Brown probably posted this.

12. Missed Connection: You’ve Got Mail

Careful to not slip on the floor because everyone is so wet from accordion players.

13. Missed Connection: Lonely (Cue Akon Song)


Check out more articles on!

This post was created by a user and has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!

    Hot Buzz

    What’s The Greatest Thing About Being Best Friends With Your Mom?


    What’s Your Power Mantra?

    Now Buzzing