13 Craigslist Missed Connections That Should Never Connect

If these people ever do connect, we will be concerned for everyone’s safety.

1. Missed Connection: Hannibal

Is it bad that my first instinct is to run?

2. Missed Connection: Unhealthy Eating Habits

I’ll pass on being covered in bread crumbs and eaten by someone in a drive-thru.

3. Missed Connection: Stalker

Hello! (We seen enough scary movies to know how this ends.)

4. Missed Connection: Nurse Ratchet

Google: Amanda Bynes….Connection Found!

5. Missed Connection: New Bible Study Partner

Commandment 1: Break all the commandments for this relationship to work.

6. Missed Connection: Ms. New Booty

Hope you’re ready for kids. Anyone with an amazing ass at any of those stores is bound to have a lot of out-of-wedlock children.

7. Missed Connection: Wind Beneath Your Wings

This is hilarious and that woman should be put on the Olympic Board.

8. Missed Connection: Grand Theft Thoughtful

This person must have also been robbed of all his common sense.

9. Missed Connection: TSA (Total Sexual Assault)

This could literally be everyone at the airport.

10. Missed Connection: Sports Fans

Jimi Hendrix boardshorts? Why do those exist? Jimi Hendrix would be so disappointed.

11. Missed Connection: Domestic Violence

Chris Brown probably posted this.

12. Missed Connection: You’ve Got Mail

Careful to not slip on the floor because everyone is so wet from accordion players.

13. Missed Connection: Lonely (Cue Akon Song)

Preach.

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