31 Things You Learn During Your Third Trimester

The final countdown is ticking down… slowly.

Sophie Hammer Lewis

1. Your bump has been saving its growth spurt for the final three months.

Sophie Hammer Lewis / Via welcometoamateurhour.com

There’s a point where you wonder if you’ll ever stop growing.

2. Which means you finally get to discover what’s in your belly button.

Sophie Hammer Lewis / Via welcometoamateurhour.com

3. Now that you’re really obviously pregnant your bump is public property.

4. Simply everyone will have an opinion on how much bigger/smaller it should be for your dates.

5. Though miraculously your bump will remain invisible on public transport.

Georgina Kotjan / Via now-here-this.timeout.com

A study on London’s Tube by Georgina Kotjan showed 80% of travellers didn’t offer their seat to a pregnant woman.

6. No matter what gender you’re having, people’s response is the same.

7. Everyone has a list of baby names they’re dying to share with you.

Sophie Hammer Lewis

And you always wish they hadn’t.

8. No one can overstate just how important it is to do your pelvic floor exercises.

There are plenty of cautionary tales out there.

9. Though pelvic floor exercises won’t save you from the other thing going on down there.

10. There’s always another weird, unexpected symptom to get your head around.

11. And mums-to-be who are more than happy to (over)share them.

12. The Third Trimester is also known as the Eat Everything Trimester.

13. And you will pay for indulgence with indigestion.

14. Yoga is great way to stay healthy.

Sophie Hammer Lewis / Via welcometoamateurhour.com

15. You’ve devised your parenting strategies already.

16. And bought all the things your baby will ever need - three times over.

17. Before realising they don’t actually need that much.

Sophie Hammer Lewis / Via welcometoamateurhour.com

Here’s a list of the actual essentials.

18. You now know how they did the special effects for Alien.

 

19. Turns out sobriety is totally do-able.

But of course there’s no way in hell it’s permanent.

20. Maternity clothes often confuse ‘pregnant’ with ‘fat’.

21. When it comes to getting around you find affinity with the animal kingdom.

22. If you’re going to sit on a birthing ball you should choose your outfit wisely.

23. Courses to help you prepare are more intense than you’d thought.

Sophie Hammer Lewis / Thinkstock / Via welcometoamateurhour.com

Who knew there was so much to learn?

24. No matter how much you love your job, going on maternity leave is a magical feeling.

Comedy Central / Via selective-hearing.com

25. Your thoughts will race ahead to the big questions about labour.

26. Curiosity WILL get the better of you.

27. Everyone thinks it’s the perfect time to share a childbirth horror story.

Would you do the same if I was awaiting heart surgery?

28. Your due ‘date’ is actually a 5 week window.

This research demonstrates just how unpredictable it is.

29. FIVE. Long. Weeks.

You’ll go from praying the baby stays in to willing it out.

30. You really will start to clutch at straws that the baby is on its way.

31. Because you won’t believe how excited you are that your baby is nearly here.

Follow me on Twitter @hammertime
Read about my adventures in craft and child-rearing at welcometoamateurhour.com

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