21 Things You’re Only Afraid Of If You Live In Philly

It takes a certain kind of person to call this city home.

1. The people of SEPTA.

2. This monstrosity.

3. These bills.

This is you on the phone with Comcast.

4. That the PPA will ruin your day…

Eddie Amador / Via Twitter: @EddieAmador

Not taking any chances

…and park illegally to do so.

@BravesOverPhils / Via Twitter: @PPAwatch

5. That this will happen…

…on more than one occasion.

Mo Riza / Via Flickr: moriza

6. That your family will want to see the historic stuff.

It’s a bell with a crack in it.

7. These trees.

8. The free hot dogs at Voyeur.

9. These rats who enjoy dining at your favorite restaurant.

10. That you’ll run out of alcohol on a Sunday.

Or forget to stock up before the holidays.

11. That you might get shot while ordering drunk food in North Philly.

Worth the risk

12. That you might get mugged and/or shot on your way to class.

Philly is home to the two most dangerous schools in the country.

13. The dating scene.

Philly is also one of the ugliest cities in America.

14. The structural integrity of your apartment building.

Who knows when the next micro earthquake will strike.

15. These trolley tracks…

…which will result in this traumatizing wipeout.

16. Naked people.


17. The amount of alcohol you’ll consume tailgating.

At least the cops are cool with it.

18. That you’ll get caught up in the wrong crowd.

19. Late-night arguments over cheesesteak preference.

20. That you’ll miss the last train home.

And finally, the most terrifying thing of all…

21. That too many people will discover how amazing it is to live here.

And your rent will skyrocket.

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