I'm In My 20s And Your List Is Not My List

My reaction to "The 100 Things Every 20-Something Needs To Realize" posted on Elitedaily.com on September 18, 2013. You may want to break out your umbrella, because it's about to rain sarcasm.

Let me start by saying, I am a 24 year old girl (yes girl, I'm not even close to understanding what a woman is) who lives in New York City. I graduated from college, I have a great job, even greater friends, I pay bills (lots of 'em), I'm single, and I'll never understand how wifi works (before you ask, yes I am blonde).

Now that my OkCupid-style bio is out of the way, let me tell you why this list of things I 'need to realize' confuses me. If you agree, that's awesome. If you don't, go fu-- ... I'm kidding, that's cool too.

"Dating is overrated and usually a waste of time."

I mean, what? Dating is awesome, if it wasn't, why would humans do it? You get to meet new people, maybe get a free drink/meal (sorry fellas), and maybe you'll actually find someone you like. If it's terrible, so what? You have a great story to tell your friends and it's on to the next one.

"You don’t have a hole in your wallet; money just disappears."

I actually know exactly where my money goes (booze, student loans, clothes), I just try not to think about it. Also, I think my money 'disappearing' is more concerning than a hole in my wallet. I mean, did my money find Harry Potter's invisibility cloak? I think not.

"Women are never free."

I wonder if the author knew this could be taken in two ways... One, women are always under the control/power of someone else. And two, women are expensive as hell. Ok, the first one was extreme (long day). I'm positive the author meant the latter. But can I just say, for every dollar you've spent on a girl, the cost will never equal a blow job. They call it a job for a reason. (Again, sorry fellas... but, also, you're welcome.)

Note: The Author agrees with me on this one, see #81.

"Orgies."

I should realize orgies? Honestly, this one doesn't even make sense. But I have to ask: Sir, is this a thinly veiled attempt at convincing your girlfriend/boyfriend to have a threesome? If, so good luck with that. (No seriously, I'm not being sarcastic this time. Let me know how that one goes over.)

"Being smarter does make you the better person."

Ok now we're just getting ridiculous. I mean, what classifies someone as being "smarter?" Going to college? Your mom goes to college.... ok I'm getting off the subject. Regardless, I know a lot of so-called "dummies" who are kind, generous, and all-around fantastic people.

You know who wasn't kind, generous, or fantastic at all? Ted Bundy, who is said to have had an IQ of 124-140 (which would put him in the above-average to moderately gifted range). So there's that.

"It is morally wrong to be obese."

Did homeboy just play the gluttony card? Oh hell naw. You're gonna throw morality at me after you just told me to have an orgy? Consider your marbles lost.

Also, in some cases (while rare), obesity is actually attributed to a disease. (Google it. Actually, you might want to Google a lot of things, just get lost on Wikipedia. It's a great time.)

"You don’t have ADD."

Wait... what was I talking about?

This post wasn't meant to hate on the author of that other article (in fact, I give him props for putting himself out there). It was meant to show that you don't need a list to tell you how to live out your twenties. You'll figure it out and you'll be ok. We all will. (With a little help from our friends, of course.)

Read the full article here: http://elitedaily.com/life/the-100-things-every-20-something-needs-to-realize/ and remember, "Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you, may not be right for some." - Theme song to Diff'rent Strokes