5. The Professional Grad Student? Seriously? There is nothing wrong with furthering your education. I would rather be a professional student for the rest of my life, learning about things of interest and making societal contributions through research, than work some crappy desk job for the next fifty years.
And to answer your question, “but also, seriously, where are they getting all this money to go to school?” Most PhD students live on their earnings from teaching and research assistantships or other low–paying employment.
And no, I am not a PhD student.