Yes, those are teeth embedded in the sole of your foot, but not 3,000 of them.
My friend Allie Conti recently wrote an article about a metal detector enthusiast who found a set of golden grillz while perusing South Beach.
I spent more time having to outrun my neighbor’s loose dog than at the beach, and that’s why I found “Cujo” scarier than “Jaws.” But my flight-don’t-pet response was right, because dogs were included in Mother Nature Network’s list of 11 Animals More Likely to Kill You than a Shark.
Instead of worrying about the things lurking around you underwater, you should focus on the seemingly harmless dog who’s paddling toward you.
A shark isn’t rubbing your feet, and it’s not your boyfriend playing footsie with you; it’s a decayed foot that was potentially sawed off someone’s leg and tossed into the ocean.
What you thought was a fin off in the distance is actually a harmless submarine carrying 10 tons of pure Colombian cocaine.
The runners who choose to traffic their drugs on go-fast boats sometimes dump their load when being pursued by the Coast Guard.
So relax. That’s just a kilo of blow floating in the water. And the only reason you should freak out is if a shark mistakes it for a seal and gobbles it down.