The second season of Orange Is the New Black is only a week away. It would be an understatement to say that we are all feeling a lot of feelings.
There’s no sugarcoating it: The upcoming days are going to be an emotional roller coaster for you.
1. First and foremost, you’ll experience excitement in its purest form.
BECAUSE IT’S ALL FINALLY HAPPENING AND OH. MY. GOD. HAVE WE REALLY SURVIVED ALL THIS TIME!? HOW DID WE MAKE IT SO FAR? PINCH ME.
BASK in these good feelings. Allow them to wash over your soul.
2. You will feel sweet, sweet relief — the long wait is finally over.
It feels like we’ve waited an entire year. Oh, wait, WE HAVE WAITED NEARLY AN ENTIRE YEAR!
Be sure to thank anyone who helped you through this dark and difficult time.
3. You will feel carefree and completely unburdened. I mean, does ANYTHING else even matter right now?
Don’t shirk your job, family, and other responsibilities in this stupor of euphoria. Maybe lock it up a tiny bit — you need to continue to be a functioning human for a little bit longer.
4. You will feel invincible. That is, until you realize how woefully unprepared you are.
How did this sneak up on us like this?! You have to rewatch the first season to refresh your memory, BUT IS THERE TIME? Of course there is time! MAKE TIME.
Be sure to carbo-load and get plenty of rest. You will need it.
5. Suddenly and slowly, fear will creep in.
An entire season just DROPPED AT OUR FEET?! Who in their right minds thinks ANYONE is capable of handling that kind of responsibility? We can barely time-manage our own lives, let alone an entire season of a television show. OUR HEALTH WILL SUFFER.
Remember to stay calm and find a watching buddy — because no one should go through this roller coaster alone.
6. You might even be feeling a bit of anger this week. Anger towards those who — for some inconceivable reason — don’t watch the show.
7. You will also feel spontaneous joy. The joy that only comes from meeting a stranger and discovering she or he too has seen the light and the way.
You mention how much you love Alex Vause casually in conversation…and that’s when you lock eyes with someone in the group. In that moment, you both know a true friendship has formed.
Bless these people for understanding the glory that is Taystee and the wonder that is Poussey.
8. You might start to feel disoriented or confused as the days go on.
9. You feel so nervous for the new season, you’re nearly sick to your stomach.
It’s like seeing an old friend after she’s been away for a long period of time. Will you still get along and laugh at the same jokes? What if she isn’t as perfect as you remember? WHAT IF?
Take a moment of reflection and remember all the months of waiting that brought you to this moment in time. You are ready.
NETFLIX IS ALL OUR LIVES.
10. You might feel anxious when you realize June 6 falls on a Friday.
A FRIDAY? WHAT? Don’t the Netflix Gods understand you will be at WORK like a PRODUCTIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY!? Can you watch it at work? Do you have to go to work?