LGBT

18 Completely True Facts About Queers

The Tumblr Facts About Queers provides 100% true facts that everyone should know. Seriously, get the truth out there.

The hilariously sarcastic Facts About Queers states on their Tumblr that they, “try to provide a safe space for ridiculousity, humor provided by queers for queers.” Although the Tumblr is only a year or so old, they have garnered quite the following and branched out onto Twitter.

We illustrated a few of our favorite 100% true facts:

1. FACT: People of the Rainbow persuasion don’t have friends. They have prides. Like lions, but gayer, and prouder.

2. FACT: The quality of a bisexual’s gaydar is inversely proportional to the degree to which it’s needed.

3. FACT: Velcro was invented when John Velcro witness two bearded men kissing.

The world makes sense now.

4. FACT: Queers do not actually exist, it’s all just an elaborate joke on Rick Santorum.

Chip Somodevilla / Getty Images

5. FACT: Queers are the only people in the world who can properly process the color pink.

6. FACT: Asexuals feel no sexual attraction because they kindly donated their sexuality to Captain Jack Harkness

7. FACT: It is a queer’s life goal to get all of their queer friends together and “queer the space”.

8. FACT: Anything that can go gay, will go gay.

The Gay Murphy’s Law

9. FACT: All those who are gender fluid or sexually fluid can learn things through osmosis.

THAT IS HOW SCIENCE WORKS, OKAY?

10. FACT: Queers are born when their mother comes into contact with Neil Patrick Harris prior to their birth.

11. FACT: All queers are naturally better at roller-skating than non-queer individuals.

12. FACT: If you name your child Virginia, they will default into polyamory and pansexuality.

After all, Virginia is for lovers.

13. FACT: All queer individuals are secretly cats in disguise. This explains their love for sushi, late night fighting, and the need for feather boas.

14. FACT: Bisexuals are legally viewed as being indecisive and therefore are allowed to vote for everyone in elections.

15. FACT: All demisexuals are secretly attracted to Demi Lovato

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

16. FACT: Every lesbian is actually Rosie O’Donnell in disguise.

THINK ABOUT IT!? It must be true.

17. FACT: Bisexuals are physically unable to ride unicycles or tricycles.

They will wobble and slam into a curb within 3.5 seconds if they attempt to ride them.

18. FACT: In the hands of any queer, glitter instantly becomes a weapon.

Ben Garvin / Getty Images

A really deadly weapon…

Craig Lassig / Reuters

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Octavian Cantilli / Reuters

Get more facts here.


THE TRUTH MUST BE REVEALED.

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