The hilariously sarcastic Facts About Queers states on their Tumblr that they, “try to provide a safe space for ridiculousity, humor provided by queers for queers.” Although the Tumblr is only a year or so old, they have garnered quite the following and branched out onto Twitter.
We illustrated a few of our favorite 100% true facts:
1. FACT: People of the Rainbow persuasion don’t have friends. They have prides. Like lions, but gayer, and prouder.
2. FACT: The quality of a bisexual’s gaydar is inversely proportional to the degree to which it’s needed.
3. FACT: Velcro was invented when John Velcro witness two bearded men kissing.
The world makes sense now.
4. FACT: Queers do not actually exist, it’s all just an elaborate joke on Rick Santorum.
5. FACT: Queers are the only people in the world who can properly process the color pink.
6. FACT: Asexuals feel no sexual attraction because they kindly donated their sexuality to Captain Jack Harkness
7. FACT: It is a queer’s life goal to get all of their queer friends together and “queer the space”.
8. FACT: Anything that can go gay, will go gay.
The Gay Murphy’s Law
9. FACT: All those who are gender fluid or sexually fluid can learn things through osmosis.
THAT IS HOW SCIENCE WORKS, OKAY?
10. FACT: Queers are born when their mother comes into contact with Neil Patrick Harris prior to their birth.
11. FACT: All queers are naturally better at roller-skating than non-queer individuals.
12. FACT: If you name your child Virginia, they will default into polyamory and pansexuality.
After all, Virginia is for lovers.
13. FACT: All queer individuals are secretly cats in disguise. This explains their love for sushi, late night fighting, and the need for feather boas.
14. FACT: Bisexuals are legally viewed as being indecisive and therefore are allowed to vote for everyone in elections.
15. FACT: All demisexuals are secretly attracted to Demi Lovato
16. FACT: Every lesbian is actually Rosie O’Donnell in disguise.
THINK ABOUT IT!? It must be true.
17. FACT: Bisexuals are physically unable to ride unicycles or tricycles.
They will wobble and slam into a curb within 3.5 seconds if they attempt to ride them.
18. FACT: In the hands of any queer, glitter instantly becomes a weapon.
A really deadly weapon…
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Get more facts here.
THE TRUTH MUST BE REVEALED.