12 Ways To Definitively Prove You’re Actually Bisexual

Follow these very serious and completely foolproof steps and no one will ever doubt you again.

1. First, whip out your credentials.

You should keep on your person at all times a definitive list of all the people you have ever been romantic with. This should properly suffice as proof of your sexuality.

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2. Or, you can simply flash your official permit.

Every bisexual person is issued an official permit upon coming out, after of course providing the credentials mentioned above.

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Is the individual confronting you still confused?

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3. OK then, complete a physical test of endurance and stamina.

Bisexual individuals must be physically superior, or else we wouldn’t have sufficient energy to be crushin’ on so many people ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

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4. A quick medical scan can also provide ample evidence.


Once a medical professional has supplied you with positive test results, you can keep an official copy to show others.

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5. Print out a few of these hand flowcharts:

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6. Ensure all your government-issued forms are checked off accordingly.

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7. And have obvious color markers showing at all times, for proper visibility.

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8. Show off your insane bicycle skills.

It’s widely known that bisexual individuals are highly skilled at riding bicycles, but struggle with unicycles or tricycles.

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9. Break. It. Down.

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For example:

It’s crucial your results be exactly 50/50 to serve as plausible evidence of your bisexuality.

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10. Have at least one Blondie and Pete Townshend poster hanging in your room.

Hulton Archive

Hulton Archive


Bisexual people tend to favor bisexual musicians.

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11. Show off your tell-tale birthmark.

All bisexuals are born with a blue and pink birthmark behind their left calf, it’s a foolproof sign and should quell any lingering doubts.

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Is the individual still confused? Not quite grasping the concept?

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12. Slowly and clearly define the term “bisexual” – it’s more likely they are confused, not you.

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Sarah Karlan is the Deputy LGBT Editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
Contact Sarah Karlan at
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