1. Upon receiving a present that was clearly purchased with zero consideration for the recipient
Thank you soo much! This is the best Santa sweater I’ve ever gotten for Hanukkah!
2. When your girlfriend asks whether or not a certain dress (or shirt or skirt) accentuates any unflattering body parts
What? No! Peplum looks good on EVERYONE!
3. After rolling in an hour late for work and spending the rest of the day curled up in a ball under your desk
It’s flu season. Sure as hell wasn’t because you were out drinking until 3am last night.
4. When prompted to theorize why your friend never heard back from the amazing, life-changing date he/she had last week
Maybe he was mauled by a bear…
5. The first time your significant other cooks you dinner… or the first time they make you anything for that matter
Spaghetti in a coffee pot? Oh honey, you’re so resourceful!
6. After your friend decides to try DIY bangs
I love the way it brings out the brown in your eyes. Seriously, Jill. I really think this is going to start a trend.
7. When your parents launch an unprecedented investigation into your sex life
You told me to wait until I’m 30, Mom. So obviously, that’s what I’ve been doing… Why, what have you heard?
8. After meeting your best friend’s new “eclectic” girlfriend/boyfriend
He’s really… unique?
9. The first time an opportunity arises to speak to your year-long crush
I know we’ve never formally met, but I feel like I already know you from the shrine in my bedroom.