22 Things All Twentysomething British Asians Know To Be True

From Goodness Gracious Me to confusing census forms, Britain’s been a pretty good place to live.

1. Whenever you enter someone’s house, your first reaction is to take off your shoes at the front entrance.

This picture is literally what your front door looked like when you had the family around.

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2. Your fridge has at least 10 jam jars in it except it’s not like the cute picture below because all of them except for one will contain a different type of pickle.

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3. Your freezer is filled with ice cream tubs.

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4. But none of them contain ice cream.

Though these were quite useful at university.

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5. There was a period of at least seven years when you didn’t know what your dining table looked like because it was covered by an ugly vinyl tablecloth.

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6. You also have a special place in your kitchen for every plastic bag that you have ever received.

Bags from Nisa feature prominently.

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7. You have fond memories of watching the often inappropriate Goodness Gracious Me with the whole family.

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8. You were pretty disappointed when the show got cut but it didn’t last long as The Kumars at No. 42 followed soon after.

It was never the same though.

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9. In fact, there was a whole wave of pop culture loosely based on Indian culture as you were growing up. From Bend it Like Beckham

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…to Bride and Prejudice.

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10. And you remember Khwahish because all of a sudden it became OK for Bollywood movies to show kissing scenes. But in reality, you miss the scenes where stars would run through fields and dance around trees.

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11. You’ve never said it publicly but you’re secretly really proud of Dev Patel’s success.

Apart from The Last Airbender. What was that?

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12. And you were really proud of the Sikh-run four-man TV station during the 2011 UK riots. They were the first at the scene and made the world aware of a number of untold stories.

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13. Moving to music, you listened to Jay Sean before he went mainstream. It is probably the only hipster thing about you.

Radio 1 DJ Nihal even brought back Jay Sean, Juggy D and Rishi Rich to celebrate the Dance With You record this summer.

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14. Let’s be honest. You’ve never seen this newspaper clipping before because, really, you’re just quite British.

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15. And whenever you see this form, there’s a little part of you that thinks you’re doing it wrong.

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16. You’ve also quietly asked family members about it, most of whom harbour similar concerns.

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17. Similarly, if you didn’t study law or medicine at university, it took your dad at least two years to figure out your full degree title…

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18. …and that’s particularly annoying because when you come home, someone is watching an inane Indian soap opera that makes no sense.

You want Star Plus and Sony TV Asia to be destroyed. Seriously.

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19. But the truth is that despite these kind of things…

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20. …and, well, less extreme versions of this…

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21. …you love your family. Firstly, there’s always a new kid every few years with whom you can make awesome faces on Instagram.

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22. Secondly, they’ve always given you support in everything you’ve done. Even when you decided to go into journalism.

Your parents worked hard to get you a great education and taught you valuable life lessons such as that of humility, generosity and kindness. And you love them with all your heart.

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Siraj Datoo is a political reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.
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