Skip To Content
    This post has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can create a post or quiz. Try making your own!

    How to Sell a Cashew On EBay for $150.

    I found this cashew in a bag of trail mix and it made me laugh. I put it up for auction first as a penis cashew (bid with cockfidence!) but eBay removed it. So I went the art route: First of all, let me start this auction by letting you know that I’m an artist. As an artist, I see form and expression in everyday objects that others miss. Where you see earth, I see eARTh, and where you see a cashew, I see art. As a common ebayer, you might see in this piece a whistle, or a space horn, or even a nose. As an artist I see a full and shapely expressive form reflecting and commenting upon society, commercialism, and the continuous conflict between positive and negative space. I don’t know why I stopped at this particular cashew as I was eating my Trader Joe’s sweet, savory & tart trail mix, but as an artist the unexplainable happens often. My body is a vessel of creation and expression in tune with everything around me, including what you would see as “just another cashew” No, something about the shape of this particular cashew reflects the shape of our society. As the artist, I have split and re-glued the cashew as an expression of the “cracks” that have been “glued” in modern life. It is a complete work of art in every way. Famed art critic Richard Barokavov had this to say about the piece: “Steven’s ‘Trader Joe’s Cashew #4’ is such a complete and absolute brutally dissecting view of the industrial conflict between capitalism and modernism that is is hard for even the most verbose of critics to add too. Regardless of Steven’s relation to me as a colleague and studio mate, the intense complexity I feel for this work is also complete and absolute.” Again, I don’t expect most to fully understand the complexity of the form but as you can see it is quite powerful. Included will be a photographic digital print of the piece. Pleas bid with confidence and ask questions if some of this was hard for you to understand. Thank you for looking. No reserve auction, free shipping. Escrow services will be used if auction exceeds the expected $500,000 that is has been valued. It went bonkers with lots of views and interest. I was even interviewed on a stupid radio show that thought I was serious. If you want to read more go here: http://www.singleape.com/?p=439 enjoy!