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Pre-Marathon
What you should know before the marathon.
1. Contrary to what people might tell you, not every single runner gets the "runner's trots"
2. But you will undoubtedly experience the thing we call a "runner's high"
3. Which is good because you’ll need something to pick you up after you “hit the wall”
4. A “runner’s tan” is also a thing
5. “Hangry” is to non-runners what “rungry” will be to you
6. Squats are a necessary evil
7. Do yourself a favor and purchase the proper running attire
8. Save yourself and wrap every single toe in blister bandaids before the race
9. Oh, and since we’re on the topic of toes, say goodbye to pretty feet
10. Your subconscious will separate your underwear drawer between “running-undies” and “non-running-undies”
11. Pre-race nutrition is key for fueling your run, but don’t load up on the “all-you-can eat pancakes” just because they’re free
During the marathon
What you should know as you run the marathon.
12. To go along with #11, the only fart you should EVER trust is “Fartlek”
13. There will be moments when you question all of your life decisions
14. But, don’t worry, you become real familiar real fast with self-motivation
15. Drinking from a cup while running is hard
16. You will likely get passed by an experienced 70+ year old runner
17. Daydreaming of your post-race meal may consume your thoughts (this is totally normal)
18. Right before you get your “second wind” (also really a thing), you may also experience a little chafing (especially you fellas!)
Post-Marathon
What you should expect after you finish the marathon.
19. To be able to move at all the next day, your post-race recovery regimen should include all or most of the following: milk, water, protein, ibuprofen, plenty of rest and ice
20. Speaking of ice, ice baths are also a necessary evil
Finally, to sum up what you can expect your feelings to be immediately after crossing the finish line of your first marathon...
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