1. You accidentally start all real life conversations with ‘Hi, I hope you are well…’
…and secretly hate yourself for it.
2. You’ve perfected the air kiss…
…but still find it totes awkward.
3. All your friends think you’re a PA…
…and you can’t be bothered to correct them.
4. You no longer believe anything you read…
…putting everything down to a PR stunt.
5. Getting great coverage on a national newspaper website’s homepage…
Like. A. Boss.
6. …and then seeing that it doesn’t include a live link to the client’s website.
7. Searching for a client on Google News after sending a big story…
…and not finding any coverage.
8. When a journalist replies to your really dull email pitch to say they like it.
9. Plucking up the courage to call a notoriously nasty journalist only to have them hang up on you.
10. When a journalist calls you to ask for your help with a feature…
11. Realising you’ve just sent a release with glaringly obvious typos in to a massive list of contacts.
12. People think your job is just like being Samantha Jones in Sex and the City, or Edina in Ab Fab.
13. Forgetting your phone when out of the office all day on a pitch and literally feeling like the world has ended.
It could have ended, but you wouldn’t know because you FORGOT YOUR PHONE.
14. Seeing a client’s competitor in an article that the journalist promised your client would be appearing in…
Scan, scan, scan, NOPE!
15. …and then explaining to your client why they didn’t make it in.
Next time, we promise.
16. Sending an excellently written press release to a client and them sending 126 tracked changes back.
17. Preparing to send a weekly client report that’s still totally empty at 3pm on a Friday.
18. When you convincingly pitch a complex client to a journalist, despite not understanding what you’ve just said.
19. Your nan always asks why your name isn’t next to your story in the paper.
You kind of wish it was.
20. Your client tells you that despite coverage with live links on 50 websites, the campaign drove no traffic or sales.
Now all we need is mind control.
21. You probably speak to journalists and your clients more than your actual friends.
But that’s OK if it means you get coverage.
22. Losing the internet connection at crucial moments is like someone switching off your life support.
How did we live before “online” existed?
23. Your phone constantly has less than 10% battery life, causing levels of distress similar to a pet dying in your arms.
It literally hurts.