1. Some people call it carbo-loading. You just call it living life.
2. Your ideal salad ratio is 40% croutons and 60% of that other stuff.
3. You've got 99 problems and they basically all have something to do with mac and cheese.
4. There’s basically nothing you wouldn’t do for pizza.
5. You've tried cutting carbs, and it was probably the most devastating two hours of your life.
6. You know a low-carb diet has its ~health benefits~ or whatever. But who needs that kind of negativity in their life?
7. Sometimes you actually wonder who these "paleo" people are, and what happened to their souls.
8. You don’t even get how “Would you like that grilled or breaded?” is even a question.
9. And the same goes for "Do you want fries with that?"
10. It's like the fucking hunger games every time the bread basket hits the table.
11. It's become your personal mission to inform your carb-shunning friends of the many, MANY benefits of eating carbs.
12. Occasions when cake is appropriate: birthday, anniversary... any day that ends in y.
13. Like the fact that eating simple carbs before exercising can help you crush a workout.
14. And you tend to use the words "carbs" and "energy" interchangeably.
15. You understand that the best way to serve carbs is sandwiched between OR stacked on top of even more carbs.
16. It's actually impossible to pass a Panera Bread without salivating.
17. Entrees that come with side salads are great and all, but you'll sub that for the carb-based side every damn time.
18. A night out isn't a success if it doesn't end with this.
19. And you — plus everyone around you — know there's a direct correlation between your mood and how many carbs you've consumed.
Bless you carbs.
