1. Lion King
Yeezus actually thinks he’s a God, and Mufasa kind of was one. What more fitting way to debut North than to hold her high from a cliff while all the minions gather below? Elton John will play in the background.
2. In a Music Video
She’ll emerge from an egg - Lady GaGa style.
3. Wearing monochrome somewhere in Calabasas
Her parents wear monochrome. She’ll be forced to do it. She’s a baby. She makes no choices.
4. On a play date with Blue Ivy
Just as Beyonce has to put up with Kim, Blue Ivy will have to put up with North because their dads are BFFLs. She actually is royalty in America, not a chaser of it. Blue Ivy ain’t got time for that.
5. Scott is the whistleblower
Can’t you see it? Lord Disick gets super drunk in the club in NYC, takes out his phone, shouts about North West, and shows the whole club pictures of her birth. Kim finds out, cries to Kourtney, and Kourtney continues making Scott sleep in a different room. Nothing changes.
6. Kim sells out
She ends up on the cover of People with North. In doing so, Kanye breaks up with her and a huge custody battle happens. It’s really just the inevitable happening quicker than we might have expected it to.
7. On Kris’s new talk show
They denied it would happen, but we all know that the most notorious momager always gets her way. She’s laughing all the way to the bank.