Fortunately, we all know how these things work: It will be “discovered” by Radar Online later this month, and then released by Vivid Entertainment. Then everyone will make lots of money, while we get stuck with the horrific consequences of having to watch two of the world’s biggest morons get naked and paw at each other.

Watch out for the Jersey Shore Ronni and Sammi sex tape any day now. Maybe this one will be everything we’ve been hoping for.