Liam Payne Wins Puberty, Surprises All

If the new One Direction video for Story Of My Life proves anything, it's that Liam Payne has undergone the mother of all geek to chic transformations.

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Let's begin with X Factor era Liam. We're not even talking One Direction era, because Liam auditioned at the tender age of 14. He made it all the way to judges' houses, and everything about him screams awkward teenager with a Justin Bieber fetish

He came back two years later, a little more confident but with the same goddamn flicky side hair thing. Which. Really dude. Don't take your fashion cues from the Biebs.

In his defence, the kid can SING.

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So he makes it into the contest, ends up on a red carpet at a movie premiere. What do they do to the poor boy? Add a mullet to his hair! Really bring volume into that fringe! Who is in charge of this and how can we go back in time and stop it from happening?

Dressing in a poorly fit suit doesn't really bring the look together either.

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Hey pensive Liam babe, please stop trying to seduce us, you're barely legal. They didn't know what to do with your look so they gave you a half-arsed version of Harry's hair.

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Helloooooo, you're super cute! Amazing what a waistcoat and tie can do to up a boy from 16 to maybe 18.

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Woo haircut! Woo smiling beautiful face of joy! Woo he's still kinda cuddly but totally asexual in most peoples' eyes!

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The buzz cut signifies the tenuous addition of edge to baby Liam's "brand". He's still got that adorable puppy dog thing going, but you kinda want to catch the kiss he's blowing and store it in your pocket, right?

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Shaking my head at this haircut of yours. The only way this look helped Liam is that rather than being the 'nothing face' of the band, he became "that bald one".

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Have you ever had the awkward years of your adolescence immortalised in wax? Liam has. That right there is his wax figure that currently lives at Madam Tussauds in London. Enjoy those nightmares tonight.

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WHAT. WHAT IS HAPPENING. The chest hair and the abs and the defined shoulder muscles and the stubble, did this happen overnight? Did all those hormones finally kick in all at once? We may never know the answer, but pretty much every image after this is handsome upon handsome. Upon handsome... it's just ridiculous.

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You little bastard. Did you plan this all along? We'd all settled on our favourite member and then you pull this stunt. Put those sparkling teeth and crinkly eyes away, before every ovary from here to the end of Earth explodes.

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In case you were wondering if he was all muscle and no motion... be right back, need a moment to rehydrate and expel all thoughts of wanting to be the stage beneath him right now.

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The greatest contribution the Australian nation has made globally, is this photograph. The collective heart attack that hit the female 1D-loving population that day will never be repeated. Because on that sacred day, we almost saw Liam Payne's snake habitat.

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We know Zayn, we can't take our eyes off of him either. Keep doing what you're doing Payno. Maybe lose the trenchcoat indoors. But keep that face beautiful.

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Final proof that no one has come out this successfully from puberty since Josh Peck left Drake and lost all that weight. Liam f***ing Payne, we salute you.