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Fact #1: You need ocular aid.
Fact #2: Contact lenses aren't for everyone.
Fact #3: Same with laser eye surgery.
So you're stuck with...UGH. GLASSES.
My fellow four-eyes, this one's for you. Here are 43 woes you face as a glasses-wearer.
43. Pictures of you look like a J.J. Abrams movie.
42. Unless..."Oh, oh no, a picture, let me whip off my glasses!"
41. Showers.
40. Roller Coasters.
39. 3-D Glasses.
38. The awkward "Sunglasses Over Real Glasses" move.
37. Prescription sunglasses = frantically taking them on and off based on sunshine levels.
36. Enjoying a hot beverage = foggy glasses.
35. Cooking = foggy glasses.
34. Rain = foggy, drippy, wet glasses. Your whole world is reduced to this.
33. You get desperate enough to think THESE might be a solution.
32. Having to double-check if what you saw really is what you saw.
Awkward on dates.
31. The fact that fake hipster glasses exist.
30. Masks, halloween costumes, and cosplay all get harder with glasses.
29. So do fights. Glasses = Weak spot!
28. Needing to take them off, 'cause HEADACHE...
27. ...but also being afraid you'll miss out on cool things when they're off.
26. Losing them only to realize they're still on your [face, head, etc.].
25. Waking up in the morning and forgetting where you left them.
24. Then finding them in a really obvious spot and feeling dumb.
23. Sigh. There's nothing quite like the panic of not being able to find your glasses.
22. You wish Occulus Reparo existed like WHOA...
21. ...because glasses can be awfully fragile...
20. ...and you feel more than a little helpless without them.
19. Your prescription KEEPS CHANGING.
18. Getting new ones: EXPENSIVE, A HASSLE, AND JUST NOT FUN.
17. Finding a perfect frame feels like a magical, Cinderella moment. Until you see the price.
16. You spend a good hour bumping into things trying to adjust to a new prescription.
15. Needing to take them off to clean 'em.
14. When people are like "You'd look so great without glasses!"
...but you're like "Bitch, please, I look good in everything."
13. Needing special pairs for scuba diving, sports, going to the movies with Julia Roberts, etc.
12. Trying to enjoy the beach.
11. When you forget that you're wearing contacts and try to put on your glasses anyway.
10. They can be cumbersome when canoodling.
9. Stereotypes.
8. When people think it's cute to steal them. Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny.
7. Sometimes, they make you feel like a dweeb...
6. ...while other people manage to look like bespectacled sex gods.
5. People asking if they can try them on. Hahahaha. No.
4. Trying to take a nap.
3. Forgetting how to glasses when drunk.
2. ...and then losing them.
1. The fact that they...
...constantly...
...need...
...readjustment.
To sum it up, glasses can be a pain the ass.
But y'know what? In your heart-of-hearts...you're kind of fond of them.
So go on and rock your specs.
And remember, without them...
You might experience blurred vision, flailing, embarrassment, and/or spontaneous laser beam emission.
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