Why Umbrellas Are The Worst

1. They flip out and become useless.

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2. One displaced spine and they’re ruined forever.

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3. They’re always either too small to keep both of your shoulders dry…

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4. …or big enough to force bystanders off the sidewalk.

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5. Umbrella hats. Why are there umbrella hats?

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6. You can’t improve on their awful design in a way that actually helps.

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Seriously, people have tried.

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7. Short people seem to forget that tall people have eyeballs up there.

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8. It’s impossible to do anything else while you’re holding an umbrella.

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9. Umbrellas love to dance in the wind…

Image by Susan Walsh / AP

10. …unless you’re in anything stronger than a light breeze, which will turn them into flapping, useless flags of surrender.

Image by Eric Gay / AP

11. No one seems to realize that carrying an umbrella increases how much space they take up.

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12. Unless you have a tiny umbrella that you always keep in your bag/purse, you never remember them when you need them, forcing you to improvise…

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13. …or buy one from this guy.

Image by Credit: Lenny Drozner via http://www.flickr.com/photos/drozner/5659363725/

14. But his umbrellas never survive for more than two blocks…

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15. …where they lay around, uglying up the street, for days after it stops raining.

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16. But of course, you don’t want to buy a better, more expensive one, because there’s always someone who steals them.

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17. And there’s ALWAYS someone who puts their umbrella on subway seats…

Image by Credit Scott Lynch via http://www.flickr.com/photos/scottlynchnyc/6873299186/

18. …leaving THIS behind.

Image by Photo Credit Derek White via http://www.5cense.com/commute_23.htm

Damn it umbrellas, get your act together.

Source: theurbanupstater.blogspot.com

Seriously, who’s making these pieces of garbage?

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