Takin’ Bacon Too Far

Bacon rules. But sometimes, there really can be too much of a good thing.

Bacon: That salty, sweet, tastiest of delights.

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We put it on our eggs.

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We put it on our grilled cheese burgers.

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We’ve even taken to putting it in our ice cream sundaes.

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But some people get just a tad Bacon-Crazy, though, and take it too far. People like:

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1. The folks behind Bakon Vodka.

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2. Whoever tried to carbonate it.

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3. People who want to think of breakfast when they kiss their sweeties.

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4. The 9 out of 10 dentists who are obviously in the pocket of Big Bacon.

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5. People who thought lying to their dentist didn’t taste good enough.

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6. The folks who thought “soap” wasn’t a clean enough scent.

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7. The guy who wants the meat pieces out from between his teeth, but not the taste.

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8. The other folks who thought “soap” wasn’t a clean enough scent.

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9. The couple that wants to think about dead pigs when they’re being intimate with each other.

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10. The recently departed whose love for bacon extends beyond this mortal coil.

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11. The wine lover who wants bacon in his glass as well as on his plate.

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12. The early riser who wants her bacon while she cooks her bacon.

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13. The person who wants to smell like a pig.

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14. The sandwich enthusiast who wants to skip a step with his cheesy BLT.

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15. The Jersey Shore boardwalk stroller who didn’t want to leave his bacon at home.

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16. The bacon lover who wants to taste the bacon without filling up on it.

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17. The person who wants their milk to taste like bacon.

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18. The kid who wants to look like he’s eating grown-up bacon while he’s actually eating strawberry gummy treats.

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19. The Southerner who thought “cheese sticks” wasn’t grossing out the yankees enough.

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20. The homemaker who wants their kitchen to smell of bacon without dirtying up the pots and pans.

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21. The mayo lover who wants all the bacon of bacon without the bacon.

Baconnaise is a bacon-flavored mayonnaise that has zero actual bacon in it.

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22. The woman who made a man out of bacon.

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23. The guy who wasn’t content with only stopping his own heart with an overabundance of bacon.

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24. The artists who’d rather look at their bacon than eat it.

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25. The California couple that loved bacon so much, they wanted their car to try it.

Dan and Tracy Kaderabek, co-founding couple of Bio-Blend Fuels, created a car that runs entirely on the excess bacon fat collected when bacon is cooked. Certainly a car one wouldn’t mind being stuck behind in traffic, though.

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