15 Awesome Reasons To Party Sober
Give it a chance, you don’t realize the potential fun you’re missing.
1. Arguments are easy to win.
This guy’s attention span is one camera flash away from being somewhere else.
2. You’ll look the best of any photo you’re in.
3. Epic photobombing opportunities are easy to spot.
4. You’ll be conscious for the best parts of the night…
5. …and you’ll actually remember them the next day.
6. Drunk people will believe ANYTHING.
“No, seriously: I really am a fighter pilot/mariachi/scuba diver.”
7. Getting free pizza is easy when you’re the only one who knows how much everyone’s paid.
‘What?! Of course I put money in! You’re drunk, just let me handle this.”
8. No one’s better at messing with passed-out drunks than sober people.
Who do you think built that card pyramid? A drunk person?
9. You won’t get everyone arrested if someone has to talk to the cops.
“No, I’m sorry, you misunderstood my friend. His uncle’s name is ‘Pig Asshole’ and he hates him. We’ve got no problem with you fine officers!”
11. …and make it back to your own place (or someone else’s!).
12. And you’ll actually wake up somewhere you intended to fall asleep.
13. There’ll be much less regret the next day.
14. And brunch is a lot better when you don’t hate yourself.
15. Keeping your head out of the toilet ain’t bad, either.
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melissak26 3 months agoNever had a drink in my life. No religious reasons, allergies, or negative past experiences…I don’t drink because I have a.) no personal desire to, and b.) am very easily irritated by the behavior of drunk people. I go to concerts, dinners, social gatherings, movies, and cons, just not bars. Other people look at me sideways for it, but I’m 27 years old and peer pressure just doesn’t affect me anymore. I know what I want and what I don’t, simple as that.
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Jerry Weaver 3 months agoSo you’re basically the kid who won’t take a bite of something new because they already know they won’t like it. Maybe keep your foods from touching on the plate too?
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melissak26 3 months ago
Actually, it has nothing to do with palate. Any intoxicated behavior I have observed in others has completely turned me off, whether they’d have 1 drink or 5 or 10. I don’t like the basic concept of alcohol and what it does to the body. It’s part of be sXe…I also avoid all drugs as well, including medication, unless it’s a prescribed antibiotic. I don’t take pain medication.
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alaynap 3 months agoDon’t pay Jerry Weaver any mind, he’s just being a cynical douche. I absolutely respect anyone’s decision not to drink even if I’m absolutely guilty of #13 above on numerous occasions. It’s a shame you’ve never been around people who can have a drink or two without transforming into an alcohol monster just to see that side of it, but oh well, it’s better stick to your guns and order orange juice or a Coke at the bar to blend in better rather than risk drinking with crazy yahoos who’ll laugh at you the first time you worship the porcelain god rather than hold your hair back :)
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melissak26 3 months ago
“Porcelain god”…I like that. Think I’ll use that phrase in the future…
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Rene Sosa 3 months agoI stopped drinking for a few years because it started getting out of hand. But life seemed to suck even more, so when I tried to go back to drinking my body kept kicking my ass - hard! Now all I can drink is a bottle or two of wine and pray it will get me through the work day. FML.
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kristicolleen 3 months agoThank you for this. I’m allergic to alcohol and often don’t get invited places because my friends “assume [I] I don’t wanna be where people are drinking”. Unless they need a designated driver, and then OF COURSE I’m invited.
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LegendOfBacon 3 months agoPermanent DD Mode… UNLOCKED! Don’t feel bad, you’re not the only one. I once had 4 drunks in my car, one on the phone with the police about her boyfriend, and another shouting at the top of his lungs about how good his weed is. Fun times!
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Jerry Weaver 3 months ago
If a person is sober they’re not partying. Try the magic of moderation instead.
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