1. Dermot drove out in a Mini on to the stage.
2. The judges came out on stage and everyone started to notice Cheryl's make-up.
3. But this was nothing compared with what was going on backstage.
4. Then all the live acts performed and there was a lesbian kiss between sisters for no reason.
5. We didn't even need to wait until the next day for this:
6. The X Factor bosses decided to go a little bit OTT...
...over a performance between these two people.
7. This was followed by Ben Haenow's first song, which happened in front of a backdrop that appeared to be an eye test for inspirational phrases.
9. Ben must have been like this at the time.
10. The shadow chancellor loved it.
11. But the culture minister was still on the fence.
12. Then One Direction performed and everyone noticed that Zayn had dramatically changed his hairstyle.
13. This received a rather mixed response on the internet.
Remember when it was like this? It was SEX.
14. Oh, and Ronnie Wood performed with One Direction.
15. Ben and Fleur then reviewed all of their old performances in a cinema and talked about how emotional they were.
I don't think either of the final two should win since they talk in the cinema. #xfactor
16. And then (spoiler alert) Ben won X Factor and his winner's single was revealed.
17. This led everyone to do that joke about Andi Peters being in a CD factory.
18. But Andi Peters had beaten everyone to it.
Darn you iTunes I used to enjoy pressing the button at the CD Pressing Plant (not factory) in Blackburn #XFactorFinal Well done @Bhaenow
19. Good luck, Ben.
You're going to need it.
Ben Haenow, gone tomorrow.