This Is What Life Is Like When Both Your Parents Are Air Traffic Controllers

They literally have the best headphones ever. Seriously, guys.

1. Your parents have the superpower of being able to tell where a plane is flying to in the sky at all times.

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You can just point to the sky and go "where is that one going?" and they'll let you know. Trust me. It made a car journey fucking exciting when you were five.

2. They also know whether your flight is delayed without having to check a website, because if they are at work they can check a radar.

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Radars are so cool. All those lines. And that twirling, circling thing.

3. There is also the possibility that they could actually be controlling the plane you're flying on.

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This happened once when I was a school trip. Although I had every confidence in my dad, I was still a bit nervous and made sure my belt was tight.

4. Even though they're good at their job, they don't know how to work home computers.

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My parents worked in air traffic for years so they were pros on those machines, but I always felt anxious when my dad rang me asking me how to work the home printer.

5. But it's even more terrifying watching Lost with your parents at the part when the plane crashed.

Lost / Bad Robot Productions

Why? You hear, "Well, a plane wouldn't explode exactly that way," followed by a detailed list of inaccuracies about the plane crash that you don't want to know.

6. They might also buy Final Destination thinking it was a comedy film, not a plane-exploding horror film.

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Yes. This actually happened.

7. But they redeem themselves at Christmas, because they've made flight plans for Santa.

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NORAD is most famous for doing this, but my parents used to do it along with all of their colleagues at their work during the holidays. They used to bring home flight plans for Santa afterwards.

This was fucking exciting when you were five.

8. And they never boast about their jobs to other people ever. They just take everything in their stride.

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For example, my dad air-traffic-controlled Concorde many, many times, including its last ever flight into Heathrow. But did he tell others about it? Nope. Not for years.

Plus my mum and dad both worked nightshifts. Constantly. They didn't complain once.

9. But you feel ridiculous if you are uncomfortable about flying in case it undermines their job.

Air New Zealand / youtube.com

Air New Zealand / youtube.com

You end up lying to them about how that flight went. “No, Mum, there wasn't any turbulence on that flight causing me to go into the brace position and cry AT ALL.”

10. You also feel ridiculous because you never really understand what they actually do in their jobs.

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The conversation during dinner at the kitchen table in the family home usually makes absolutely no sense at all. It is literally like they're speaking in another language.

11. You love that they're able to speak the police alphabet without even thinking.

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They use it to contact planes in the sky, but it's also useful when they're on the phone to a credit card company and need to give their details.

Hearing "Bravo Romeo Yankee Alpha November" makes you weirdly feel proud.

12. But feel bad because you can't do the police alphabet anywhere near as well as them.

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The person from the credit card company has started to look down on you.

13. When you tell others that your parents are air traffic controllers, they think they do this...

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Although that role does sound really quite cool.

14. ...and then always ask this.

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You tell them that only a few air traffic controllers work at airports. You receive a blank facial expression back.

15. Along with this question.

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No.

16. This question.

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Probably.

17. And finally, "Aren't their jobs really stressful?"

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"Well, they did fall asleep in front of Gardener's World last night."

18. But the best thing about their role, by far? They wear headsets with funky padding. Funky padding.

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Your iPhone headphones are nothing compared to these. NOTHING.