THAT’S RIGHT EVERYONE. IT’S DISCO WEEK.
So all of the songs strictly sounded like disco music right?
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA you’re very funny.
There was a big shock to start off proceedings. The ‘Flash Vote’ has been dropped. Shocking.
But this meant that we could enjoy the return of…
So who was responsible for the worst performance on Saturday night?
10. Look no further than Sam Callahan’s performance of “Relight My Fire”. It was so bad that it can be summed up in this gif and this gif only.
Has Gary just watched a video of someone crapping on his front lawn? #xfactor
If Sam Callahan could actually sing he’d be flawless. Shame he can’t…at all! X
what a fackin racket
9. Meanwhile Abi Alton’s “I Will Survive” was stripped-back and lovely, but it was inappropriate for the mood and feel of DISCO WEEK.
The Media Blog
Presumably this will be “disco” in the John Lewis advert sense of the word. #xfactor
*Tries to disco dance, slows down, nods head slowly, downs drink, sits down in dance floor corner, cries* #XFactor
8. Kingsland Road’s “Blame It On The Boogie” was polished, but Union J’s and One Direction’s secret love child took the lyric “I just can’t, I just can’t, I just can’t control my feet” LITERALLY.
Some people still aren’t that keen on them.
Kingsland Road, a band named after a road in east London that if they went back to they would be hung from lamppost as warnings to others.
7. Nicholas McDonald’s rendition of “Rock With You” didn’t have that Michael Jackson feel to it. It was basically a teenager singing on a giant Trebor mint.
Nicholas looks like a wrong answer in a game of Guess Who? #xfactor
at least Nicholas actually tried doing ‘disco’ unlike Abby sitting at a piano #xfactor
6. Tamera’s “Wishing On A Star” was elegant, but was a bit slow and was like that moment in a show where you would disappear for an extended wee.
i’m sorry but until i see a birth certificate i refuse to believe that tamera foster is only 16
5. Luke Friend’s “Play That Funky Music” was actually really really really quite good.
Why was this? Well it was a bouncy song, directly after Nile Rodgers, so everyone was already in the mood for it. Also, everyone seems to have forgotten his “I haven’t ever washed my hair” story.
I like Luke Friend. That is all.
But then Louis Walsh ruined it all by saying…
You remind me of a little Johnny Depp #XFactor
4. Rough Copy’s performance of “September” was solid, although they’ve had more memorable songs.
Maaaaaaan, I hope Sony don’t sign Rough Copy. I want to sign them. They’re well good and getting better! September was wicked!
Rough Copy’s motto of “Sweet But Street” was originally “Pleasant, Near A Crescent”.
3. They weren’t as good as Hannah Barrett singing “Somebody Else’s Guy” though, so loud at parts I swear I could hear it without the television on.
HANNAH BARRETT has the x bloody factor
Hannah Barrett. Yes. Yes. Yes. That is how you do disco #xfactor
Although some people found the “sob story” of her being in the bottom two a bit rubbish.
Ryan John Butcher
More sob story, Hannah. You don’t want to be in the bottom two again. Let’s see those tears. BLEED FOR US, HANNAH. BLEED #XFacfor
2. The best performance of the night was Sam Bailey’s “No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)”. Shame that she was on last.
People seem to like Sam Bailey.
YES SAM BAILEY. YES YES YES YES YES. #XFactor
THIS IS MORE LIKE IT SAM BAILEY YOU SASSY SAUSAGE #XFactor
1. But the moment of the week? THE NILE RODGERS SATURDAY NIGHT OPENING NON-STOP MEDLEY.
Good side of having a proper performance at the start? It gets everyone in the mood. Bad side of having a proper performance at the start? It’s the best dang thing of the whole bloody evening.
He seemed to love his time there, even though on Twitter this gossip was shared.
Who else saw Nile Rodgers on telly this morning saying he’s never seen X Factor?
And Sunday’s performance? Little Mix came back to the show bouncing and full of energy.
Whilst Taylor Swift’s and Gary Lightbody’s performance was so terrible I immediately evacuated the room and went for a prolonged 20 MINUTE WEE.
SO THE VOTE. Abi, Tamera and Kingsland Road were there last. Abi slid through.
And did it then go through to DEADLOCK DEADLOCK DEADLOCK DEADLOCK DEADLOCK?
NOPE. BYE KINGSLAND ROAD BYE.
That’s it. What an Incredible experience. Thank you to all our fans,people who supported us. All the incredible workers in front and behind