1. So, you know TLC. The channel that brings you…
There’s also “Extreme Couponing”, where you see people getting $$$ off their weekly food bill for half an hour.
2. Well they’ve now got a new show that you will tell others that you don’t watch but you absolutely will.
It has been on US screens for about 3 months now, and from 10pm on Thursday 20th March it’ll be shown on TLC UK. Sent Me To ER will show you reconstructions of sexual intercourse that goes horribly wrong.
3. Now before we continue you should be warned that there are many disclaimers throughout this show.
“in some instances” - what does that even mean?
4. They also can’t show you any sex (TLC isn’t a sexy porny channel), so instead you end up seeing this.
Shakey walls. Shakey pictures.
5. There’s also “rrrggghhhh” and many falling pillows.
6. But it always ends with some sort of problem. Like this man who collapsed directly after climaxing.
That isn’t sped up.
7. He lost all control in his arms and legs so couldn’t move from his position on top of his partner.
8. They then cross over to the guy who was actually involved in the incident to explain what happened.
9. But before we can find out why it has happened and whether he will be okay, we cross to a man in hospital who has mysteriously fractured his penis.
Why? It isn’t really explained at this point. This really is all very exciting.
10. He is in a great deal of pain.
Yes, he actually says that.
11. But this isn’t just sexual accident after sexual accident. The producers use the doctors who were there to describe what happened.
You then face this cliffhanger in your head: will his penis survive surgery?
12. There’s also this cliffhanger - another woman turns up and starts fighting in front of fractured penis man.
Why? Well it’s not really explained at this point.
Oh by the way we’re only ten minutes into the episode.
13. The women then start making out with each other.
Why? No idea.
14. And the man is getting turned on but is finding it painful due to his fractured penis.
STOP GETTING TURNED ON THIS ISN’T RIGHT.
15. This doctor’s facial expression says it all really.
“Help me please what am I doing in this programme?”
16. Three minutes later, another sexual failure. A man who is getting it on actually drives a woman’s head through a wall during sex.
… rendering her unconscious. Well done everyone.
17. An interview with the couple then follows.
She then regains consciousness. She says to him “why did we stop?”
This show is pretty intense, but it’s not as intense as this story in another episode.
18. A guy’s wife goes out of town, so he takes drugs and a hooker he can’t afford. The hooker finds out what he can’t afford the drugs or the hooker so she does this…
She throws him out the window. Naked.
19. He ends up looking like this.
20. And he ends up in ER.
So don’t be naked by an open window near a prostitute you haven’t paid. Got it.