BBC Two’s “The Big Allotment Challenge” Is Your GBBO Replacement

There’s even a bit where they pour out jam for absolutely no reason.

1. You may have heard about this new show…

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

EXCITING EXCITING EXCITING EXCITING EXCITING EXCITING.

Six groups of people grow plants, make flowers and create lovely jams and stuff.

And it’s basically a garden version of The Great British Bake Off.

2. Why…? Their ‘preserves expert’ is like Mary Berry.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

bbc.co.uk / Great British Bake Off / Love

 

3. Both of the male judges have sex eyes.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

 

4. The ‘greenhouse’ looks like GBBO.

bbc.co.uk Great British Bake Off / Love

 

5. Absolutely everyone is lovely to each other.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

bbc.co.uk Great British Bake Off / Love

 

6. Millions watched GBBO just because of this.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

7. The double-entendres here? VERY SIMILAR.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

8. Really. Really quite similar.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

Legal clarification: They are talking about jam.

9. Seriously. There are quite a few here.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

10. And of course GBBO has got this great double-act.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

11. Great Allotment Challenge has the same. SEE….!

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

Poor Fearne. And yes my photoshopping skills are quite shit.

12. Now Allotment Challenge hasn’t got harsh time-limits.

CUE EVERYONE GOING “AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.”

13. Instead there’s a lot of planting and waiting.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

In fact, they’ve got 15 weeks to get everything ready for the challenges.

14. So that means that there’s 15 weeks of this.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

15. Leading to incredible dramatic commentary.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

16. Really really intense commentary.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

PAYING THE PRICE.

17. Followed by close-ups of RADISHES.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

18. But the best part of this show? This.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

The pouring bit of ‘making some jam and curd challenge’.

19. THIS JAM IS A BIT STICKY.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

20. THIS JAM TOO STICKY.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

21. THIS JAM IS A LITTLE BIT PERFECT.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

22. THIS ONE TOO LIQUIDY.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

The way she eats it is a bit confusing though.

23. EAT THE JAM ON A SCONE NOT ON A SPOON.

bbc.co.uk / Big Allotment Challenge / Silver River

FFS MARY. FFS.

24. The Great Allotment Challenge continues Tuesdays, 9pm on BBC Two.

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