So you know Vampire Weekend, right?
New York indie. Skinny jeans. Songs about youth fading fast. Etc.
1. But have you really noticed Ezra Koenig? He’s the guy who always does this facial expression.
2. Or this amazing facial expression.
3. Or this facial expression — so good it’s copyrighted.
4. He holds a guitar at the best angle of all time.
5. This angle is OK too, I guess.
6. But not as good as this angle. THIS ANGLE.
7. And then there is his hair, the best hair of any human in the whole damn universe. Just look at it.
8. Majestic. Powerful. Erotic.
9. Then there’s his laugh and his words of wisdom.
But he’s more than this. He is truly the master of the internet.
10. His Vines (all four of them) are exceptional.
His voice! So deep.
11. He’s has mastered the selfie from three different angles.
13. Seriously, nobody can do selfies as well as him.
OK, so where can someone get one of those?
15. Then there is his Twitter account.
16. Erotic. Inspiring. Confusing. All at the same time.
OH CRAP HE DOESN’T LIKE THE WORD SELFIE.
17. When he performed with Karen O from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs at the Oscars your heart started to melt a bit.
18. Mainly because, even though you love Karen O, your heart melted because you wish it could be you.
19. What else is he good at? Opening bottles of champagne at the top of very tall buildings in New York City.
20. In fact, the whole band is very good at opening bottles of champagne on the top of tall buildings in New York City.
21. Only he can get away with wearing this.
Seriously, if you ever wear this and you’re not Ezra you look really silly.
24. But he can wear good clothes as well, like at The Oscars.
Those love hearts were added afterward, btw. They are not real.
26. But at least he can pose like this wearing one.
Nobody else can. Only him.
Still, it’s not as good as this.